Yesterday, I talked about realizing that my motivation for following Lent this year wasn't so pure. I thought about the question, "Why am I really doing this?', in response to the things I had committed to following. After I was honest with myself that my motivations were largely selfish and needed to be re-looked at, this led to the next question.
“What then, was God really asking or wanting me to do?”
Shortly after this question surfaced, I read Isaiah 58 on True Fasting. I’ll let you read it, but the first half addresses the heart issue. God says that when you fast, but still exploit or end up fighting with others, or go through the religious motions but without meaning, than it is not acceptable to God.
Then God answers the second question of, ‘What then, is meaningful to Him?’ Isaiah 58 says, “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke...is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?” (6-7)
Whoa. Had I been doing that AT ALL? Had I even been conscience of that?? I get so wrapped up in what I 'should' be doing, that I miss all the real opportunities in front of me to actually do something. Does my fasting and giving come from a place of deep love for God? Is it a response to that or is it obligation? God wants us to do these things for Him and for others, but only if it is a response of love and gratitude for Him, recognizing that He has given us everything anyway. We should simply and happily offer a bit of this back, knowing He owns all. If we recognize this, our giving and fasting and prayer changes and deepens and can finally take on and give out life, which it is intended to do, rather than being staunch and dead and a ‘I can’t do this- it’s Lent’, kind of thing.
Does my giving actually hurt me a bit, or cause me some discomfort in my life for the sake of others because I really want to love my neighbour? If we choose this kind of giving, or fasting, or praying, we will do things that really honour God and others. We will finally give our food to the food pantry that we like best, not least, and our clothes that are under a year old and we may actually still like and fit. We will take the money we would spend on coffee once a week and rather than buying something else with it, donate it instead, not because it is ‘the right thing to do’, but because in depriving ourselves, we bring a new life to others. We may, when we are abstaining from a food, actually remember those hungry today and unable to feed their kids empty stomachs, whether here or abroad.
So, needless to say, I didn’t do very well at the three things I pledged to do to prepare for Easter. However, they still served their purpose. During the process of struggling to fulfill them in some hollow way, I realized so much more about the motivation of my heart.
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Well put!! Too often in everyday life we walk around wondering what to do and how to do it, but frequently end up doing things that ultimately make us feel better about ourselves and our decisions, often not selfless in and of themselves. Funny though that with change and surrender of what we are used to, what we want, or what makes us feel good for the meantime, how much more meaningful the experience.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, really made me think about my motivations.
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