Princesses!

So, Then one morning, I was out on a walk before class. I was thinking about this idea of sensuality quite a bit, and to be honest, pitying myself. Then, quite suddenly, God clarified it for me.

Anna, this IS a Kingdom of God issue. You do need to worry about it, just not in the way you’ve been thinking. The people in this city are in bondage by this. The women, my daughters, consider sexuality their value. The men, my sons, are in bondage too, over this. They are slaves to it. This is a stronghold that the devil has here. This is a Kingdom issue. Being a missionary is about everything in your life exemplifying Me. So yes, your clothes, your make-up, the way you portray yourself in this city is part of what I have called you here for.

And like that, my perspective and attitude changed. Yes I still struggle with it. But I see it for what it is. God has now given me a heart for this, to pray against its power here.
In class this week we spent some time praying about this issue. I’ve learned a lot. Basically, when Portugal colonized Brazil, the government sent many prostitutes and criminals here to get them out of the country. So this is now a part of Brazil’s heritage. We had a time of prayer for the country. Last week we watched a Brazilian film on child prostitutes that are taken from rural areas and brought to the cities. This is a huge problem. It was a very difficult film to watch. Next week on Friday night we are going to the Red Light District, 3/4 of a mile in which 4500 prostitutes live and work. Apparently there is literally a constant stream of men entering the brothels, so we need to be prepared for that.

So, this issue keeps re-surfacing. Its not one that’s ever been directly in my line of vision, but maybe God is changing that. Pray for the men and women and children of Brazil to be freed from this.

Princesses?

One of the things I really despited about Brazil when first arriving, and still struggle with, is the amount of sexuality in this culture. I came from AFRICA, where I wore long, loose skirts made of one piece of material that made my body have no discernable shape. I didn’t wear makeup because no one does, and I wore my hair back because of the heat and dirt. Isn’t that how missionaries are supposed to look?
When arriving in Brazil, part of the culture shock was the focus on outward appearances. Literally, almost every women wears tight pant, short skirts and low cut tops. This applies to women over the age of 60, and women that are overweight. So, it didn’t take long for my self esteem to plummet and to look at my clothes and hair with general distaste. I haven’t had the means to really take care of myself the way I would at home. My feet aren’t even clean, let alone pedicured. Besides being ultra-conservative, most of my clothes are also worn out because of the lifestyle and hand washing. Most of the people in the class flew from first world countries, with really nice clothes and more than three things in their toiletry bag. You’d think this wouldn’t be a big deal. Seriously, one of the things that really bothers me is that I don’t feel like I should even have to deal with this. Aren’t I here on a lot more important matters? Shouldn’t I be more worried about the Kingdom of God than looking like a princess? I’m well educated, smart, relatively in-shape woman. Besides feeling self pity, I also felt angry. But honestly, you would be surprised at how quickly I was affected by this. It really affected me. As a woman, any woman, it is not a fun feeling when you feel less attractive than every woman in your surroundings. Every woman, even missionaries, want to be thought of as beautiful and desirable. I hated the culture this created.
Where is the balance between taking care of the body God gave you and not letting it become an idol? This happens so much in Canada too- every billboard, magazine and TV show. I really can’t stand it. If it affects me, in my 30’s, how much more are teenage girls affected by it. So maybe this is seemingly an issue of personal pride or insecurity. I would probably agree with you. Really, it’s even a luxury to have to worry about this. But, it is still a very real struggle for many women. So now what?

Follow-Up

I’m so glad now that I sent out a prayer request. It is easy when you are on another continent to feel like you are battling alone, without your usual friends by your side fighting. I was reminded though, after sending that email, that I am not battling the social issues and personal struggles alone. Last week, after returning from talking to people on the streets, the leader of our group said that even if we didn’t feel there was a difference in the people after talking to them, our presence among them was making a powerful difference in the spiritual world. I felt the same tonight, that there are so many people that are thinking of and praying for us.
We had a very restoring weekend. Our sleep was better. On our day off we went to a museum and to a bookstore for dinner. Today we had breakfast and worked at the Reborn House. We gardened (therapeutic!) and then enjoyed a BBQ with the staff, staying two hours later than we planned, simply because we were enjoying ourselves so much. Thank you, thank you. Know that every positive thought and prayer are truly invaluable to me.
It is easy to forget, or in the very least underestimate, the impact that this has on my life and in the grand scheme of life here. But prayer is definitely our most powerful tool for change, as we can change very little on our own. We happened to read this verse in class today...

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” 2 Corinthians 10:4

Warfare

So the idea of spiritual warfare is a relatively new one to me (last few years). Basically it means that there is a constant struggle going on in the lives of people between Satan and the forces of God, both of course who want to win souls. This is a very real part of life and all of us have experienced this in many ways. Often it can be temptations, thoughts, frustrating circumstances, or any host of things to basically turn our attention away from God and instead to complaining, self-pity or feelings like discouragement, fear or doubt.

I shared with some of you that before coming to Brazil there were different circumstances that happened that started creating uneasiness and nervousness in both of us. I'll spare you the details, but our emails and references to YWAM got lost and the airline cancelled our plane tickets. We were wondering if this was a sign from God. We talked to Sidney about it and he also thought that maybe something so great was going to happen in Brazil that perhaps it could also be satan trying to dissuade us. The last thing satan wants are people being trained to do ministry to rescue and restore the lives of children.

After arriving on the night where it was storming and the power was out, we have now faced two weeks of other somewhat difficult things. We both have not been able to sleep. We feel restless and overwhelmed with the culture. There is little time, space or quite. I broke a tooth and had stomach pain yesterday. And so it continues...

So, here's the other side. God has used EVERY circumstance here. Every day it is difficult to process all of the truth He is telling us about life here and in ministry. The classes begin with an hour of music and prayer and the classes are focused on the reality of the streets here and how to really begin to change communities. We have begun working 3 days a week at Reborn Home. Friday nights we've been going to the streets just to talk and hang out with the kids and adults there.

While in Mozambique, a missionary there was talking about the Book of Job, where literally Job was hit by everything from illness, to death in his family, to financial ruin. Throughout this, Job decides to remain faithful to God and to continue to follow Him. This missionary was saying that when we choose to do this, then God can actually use our difficult circumstances and positive response to mock the devil.

So Friday we prayed that no matter what happens, we sing louder, we work harder, we learn more. We believe that right now we are exactly where we should be. So here we will stay. Please continue to pray for us!

"Being a Christian is really hard. There is only one thing that is more difficult- not being a Christian."