Yesterday, I talked about realizing that my motivation for following Lent this year wasn't so pure. I thought about the question, "Why am I really doing this?', in response to the things I had committed to following. After I was honest with myself that my motivations were largely selfish and needed to be re-looked at, this led to the next question.
“What then, was God really asking or wanting me to do?”
Shortly after this question surfaced, I read Isaiah 58 on True Fasting. I’ll let you read it, but the first half addresses the heart issue. God says that when you fast, but still exploit or end up fighting with others, or go through the religious motions but without meaning, than it is not acceptable to God.
Then God answers the second question of, ‘What then, is meaningful to Him?’ Isaiah 58 says, “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke...is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?” (6-7)
Whoa. Had I been doing that AT ALL? Had I even been conscience of that?? I get so wrapped up in what I 'should' be doing, that I miss all the real opportunities in front of me to actually do something. Does my fasting and giving come from a place of deep love for God? Is it a response to that or is it obligation? God wants us to do these things for Him and for others, but only if it is a response of love and gratitude for Him, recognizing that He has given us everything anyway. We should simply and happily offer a bit of this back, knowing He owns all. If we recognize this, our giving and fasting and prayer changes and deepens and can finally take on and give out life, which it is intended to do, rather than being staunch and dead and a ‘I can’t do this- it’s Lent’, kind of thing.
Does my giving actually hurt me a bit, or cause me some discomfort in my life for the sake of others because I really want to love my neighbour? If we choose this kind of giving, or fasting, or praying, we will do things that really honour God and others. We will finally give our food to the food pantry that we like best, not least, and our clothes that are under a year old and we may actually still like and fit. We will take the money we would spend on coffee once a week and rather than buying something else with it, donate it instead, not because it is ‘the right thing to do’, but because in depriving ourselves, we bring a new life to others. We may, when we are abstaining from a food, actually remember those hungry today and unable to feed their kids empty stomachs, whether here or abroad.
So, needless to say, I didn’t do very well at the three things I pledged to do to prepare for Easter. However, they still served their purpose. During the process of struggling to fulfill them in some hollow way, I realized so much more about the motivation of my heart.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Some Thoughts on Lent (1 of 2)
As we enter Holy Week, I thought I would share a bit of my own experience with Lent this year. Even with a short time left, it’s worthwhile to think again about what we do and why we do it as we approach Easter. Traditionally for me, Lent is a time to dedicate a little more time to God and to deepen my relationship with Him in preparation for Easter and the glory of the Resurrection. It’s the most joyful season of the year- approaching the day when the fullness of Jesus’ life and purpose was finally realized. The glory and vastness of Easter also highlights our own human weaknesses and the deep realization that we need a God to redeem us. This isn’t a ‘Wow, I’m nothing’ kind of thing, but a humbleness and reverence for the Power that Overcomes All. This is why I think Lent is meant to be a time of introspection of how our own sins separate us from God and how we can draw closer to God, who is alive and well in us. Lent usually involves three components to help us become more aware of ourselves and our intentions: prayer, fasting and alms-giving or giving to the poor. I try and choose something to do in each one of these areas to focus on.
So, a few weeks before Ash Wednesday, I started to think about these and the first question that came to my mind was, ‘What am I going to give up?’ Chocolate, TV, sugar. Pray more, go to church more. Give something away. This seems the typical question I ask myself and it seems, most people ask themselves. “What am I going to give up?” So, with the same question as always, I started to give up the same, typical things. This year, I decided to give up second-helpings, spend more time in prayer, and go through my closet to give away a bag of clothes.
Somewhere though, in the last few weeks, I started to feel uneasy about these. All of them, in and of themselves, are ok; they’re good things that maybe we should be trying to do. But, in thinking about these, struggling to do these, and being mindful as I go, as the initial weeks went by, two other questions entered my mind and have taken root there.
The first question that came is: “Why am I really doing this?” If I’m honest about it, it’s still largely about me. ‘Oh, this is a great time to lose weight, or get healthier, or finally get rid of the clothes I don’t ever wear anyway.’ Even praying more or going to church- they’re largely about the set of religious rules I’ve constructed that make me feel better about myself when I’ve fulfilled them. Most times, doing these things feels pretty empty, and they’re more difficult to do because I usually forgot why I am doing it. It became more of a rule than something I had actually freely CHOSEN to do.
The problem with all of these, without the proper motivation of the heart, is that they rarely fulfill what God really wants from us- to be closer to Him. Not eating the chocolate, but eating the vanilla, rarely increases my love for God. I don’t take the time to reflect more on God during that time of fasting, or giving or praying. It just makes me feel better to say that I’m ‘doing’ something for Lent. The other reality is that in answering the question, ‘What am I going to give up?’, I chose things that really don’t hurt me one bit. I put a little more on my plate the first time around and when sorting those clothes, really, I gave away the ones I never wear or don’t fit.
What is the motivation of our hearts in doing the things we do to please God and to serve others?
Tomorrow... The second question....
So, a few weeks before Ash Wednesday, I started to think about these and the first question that came to my mind was, ‘What am I going to give up?’ Chocolate, TV, sugar. Pray more, go to church more. Give something away. This seems the typical question I ask myself and it seems, most people ask themselves. “What am I going to give up?” So, with the same question as always, I started to give up the same, typical things. This year, I decided to give up second-helpings, spend more time in prayer, and go through my closet to give away a bag of clothes.
Somewhere though, in the last few weeks, I started to feel uneasy about these. All of them, in and of themselves, are ok; they’re good things that maybe we should be trying to do. But, in thinking about these, struggling to do these, and being mindful as I go, as the initial weeks went by, two other questions entered my mind and have taken root there.
The first question that came is: “Why am I really doing this?” If I’m honest about it, it’s still largely about me. ‘Oh, this is a great time to lose weight, or get healthier, or finally get rid of the clothes I don’t ever wear anyway.’ Even praying more or going to church- they’re largely about the set of religious rules I’ve constructed that make me feel better about myself when I’ve fulfilled them. Most times, doing these things feels pretty empty, and they’re more difficult to do because I usually forgot why I am doing it. It became more of a rule than something I had actually freely CHOSEN to do.
The problem with all of these, without the proper motivation of the heart, is that they rarely fulfill what God really wants from us- to be closer to Him. Not eating the chocolate, but eating the vanilla, rarely increases my love for God. I don’t take the time to reflect more on God during that time of fasting, or giving or praying. It just makes me feel better to say that I’m ‘doing’ something for Lent. The other reality is that in answering the question, ‘What am I going to give up?’, I chose things that really don’t hurt me one bit. I put a little more on my plate the first time around and when sorting those clothes, really, I gave away the ones I never wear or don’t fit.
What is the motivation of our hearts in doing the things we do to please God and to serve others?
Tomorrow... The second question....
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