The Mustard Seed

Ribbon Colours!

2009-08-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

A friend passed these on to me... I had no idea about any of them except breast cancer of course.

Cancer Is So Limited

2009-08-09T16:43:00.000-07:00

What Cancer Cannot Do...

Cancer is so limited,
It cannot cripple love,
It cannot shatter hope,
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot destroy peace,
It cannot kill friendship,
It cannot suppress memories,
It cannot silence courage,
It cannot invade the soul,
It cannot steal eternal life,
It cannot conquer the spirit.

-Author Unknown

Kelly and Her Mom

2009-08-09T16:42:00.000-07:00

Kelly, my sister-in-law, just lost her mom Barbara to lung cancer last week. Barbara’s experience seems so much like my dad’s; struggling to get properly diagnosed, promised a certain amount of life by doctor’s, and then quickly declining towards the end. The other night, while my own mom was on the phone, calling my other siblings and letting them know, it suddenly hit me. She had just died of the same disease I now carry, currently carry, in my body. Up until that moment, I had identified more with Kelly- I knew how hard it was to lose a parent to cancer, or to anything. The disbelief and devastation it is weighted with. How life changes forever while you’re still trying to catch your breath. But this was a whole new perspective.

Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten off easy, because I haven’t felt sick, or realized the incredible amount of work it is taking my body to heal itself. Whatever it is, I feel a new tenderness, for myself and those around me striving to overcome cancer or its effects on their lives.

Todd goes to Mozambique

2009-08-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

Todd left for Mozambique on Tuesday. For those of you that don’t know him, here is a perfect example of who I see him to be. On the way to the airport Tuesday afternoon, Todd wanted to first stop around the corner and say goodbye to Karim. Karim is a middle-aged Iraqi man that has a tire and repair shop in Detroit. Todd first met Karim when he was walking around the neighbourHOOD and saw Karim sitting outside, just waiting for customers. I’ve met Karim before, and I think this is how he spends much of his day: sitting around and waiting for customers. Karim seems to be like many in Detroit- trying to make a living, waiting for things to get better, and lonely. So Todd started talking to him, and came back the next day to bring him a coffee. For awhile, Todd was going there everyday, bringing him a coffee and just sitting outside, talking. Karim told him all about his life in Baghdad, his brother that is still there, how Saddam took his family land, his desire to save up and go back. Then, Todd brought him a Bible: an Arabic- English one.

So, we pulled up last Tuesday to the tire shop and there’s Karim, reading his Bible. We talk for a bit and Karim tells me to come by sometime when Todd is gone and we’ll 'go to the casino or something'. But the cool thing is what came next. Karim starts talking about the sandals that Todd is wearing and about how he broke his own pair. Todd mentions he has one in his backpack too, to take to Mozambique. Karim wants to see them, and when Todd goes to the trunk, unzips his backpack and pulls them out, Karim asks Todd for them. And Todd gives them to him, without even hesitating. I’m standing there like, ‘No, don’t give them! Your only belongings for the next year are in that backpack!’

So there Todd is, a missionary on the field in Detroit, on his way to the mission field in Africa, a missionary wherever he is. Who doesn’t want to be around someone like that? Who doesn’t want to be someone like that? I do- I’m not that kind of person yet, but I want to be. So he inspires me to be better everyday. That’s Todd.

What If

2009-08-06T19:15:00.000-07:00

What if God asked you to give up your life as you knew it? What if He asked you to give up your permanent home for His, where you never knew where you would end up living? What if He wanted your means of supporting yourself, in order to trust in Him through others to support you instead? What about if He requested your friends and family and social events and wanted to replace them with the orphans, the diseased, the lonely? What if He gently demanded your comforts and pleasures and loves to live with the poor?

What if He asked all of this from you? And you did it.

Then He asked you to give up more.

Progression of Hair

2009-07-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

One Regret

2009-07-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

When I was in high school, I started dyeing my hair. Brown's just not that exciting when you're a teen trying to fit in. It started with the do-it-yourself Shoppers box of golden blond and progressed through various stages of streaks and highlights of everything from dark brown to light blond and back again.
Then last year, I decided that since I was going overseas to do mission work, it would be a good time to finally re-discover what my natural hair colour was. My reasons were three-fold; I figured I may not have a good stylist abroad, no-one that knew me 'blond' would be around, and as a missionary, it probably didn't matter anyway.
Before I left last June, I cut some of the ends off and resigned myself to a year of ponytails. Finally, after enduring the growing out phases (not pretty) all year, and returning home, my sister gave me a gift certificate for a proper hair cut and accompanied me to see the last of the blond go.
After I got it cut, I was so excited. I had one colour of hair. And I really liked it. I remember thinking how God really knew what He was doing after all, and that I would definitely be keeping the brown around indefinitely. That was 4 short months ago.

Of course, we all know that this is a lesson in irony.

Tomorrow, I will go and get my head shaved. For the past two weeks, my hair has been falling out. Thankfully, it has not come out in chunks or patches, but slowly, with the strands just pulling away effortlessly. (I've referred to this as shedding). I have already cut my hair short, but will not cling sadly to the last bits until they go. No, tomorrow my sister will come with me once more to experience a new hair cut.
It honestly doesn't really bother me about going bald. I have a great looking new wig and it will really cut down on shampoo costs. No, my one regret is this- for over 15 years I didn't see my real hair colour, the one I was born with. That's about half of my life. I tried everything I could to hide my real hair colour. I never really appreciated how I was made, the intricacies that were just me. You know what they say, ' You never know what you've got until it's gone.' So, appreciate who you are today. Just as you are. I guess that's the purpose of this blog, just to encourage you to see that from where I'm sitting, everybody looks pretty good they way they are.
God made my hair this really cool brown colour. God made us all so cool looking. He knows every cell in my body and every brown hair on my head. In Matthew 10:30 it says, 'And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.' Going into tomorrow, I like to think that He knows exactly how many I had, have lost and still remain. I'm going to think of that under the razor.

Thursday, June 25, Second Chemo

2009-06-27T15:58:00.000-07:00

I was disappointed and frustrated today. I went for my second chemo treatment this morning. I felt so positive and well after just finishing an antibiotic yesterday to ward off possible infection. But when I gave my blood work, my white blood cell count was low. The chemo wipes out your blood cells and the hope is that the time between treatments is long enough for them to recover. Because my count was so low today, I couldn’t receive the chemo. Instead, the doctor gave me a drug to help stimulate my bone marrow so new cells will grow. It is an injection I, or someone else, gives me once a day in my stomach for five days. After that, hopefully I can have the chemo treatment next Friday. Disappointed. Frustrated. I’m disappointed and frustrated that I am already experiencing these problems- I wasn’t expecting difficulties this early in the treatment. I’m disappointed that every missed treatment means this will be in my life longer. I’m frustrated that there is nothing I can do in my diet or with resting that can help boost my cells.
I do feel disappointed and frustrated. It’s not that I don’t feel these things. But I trust God so much; I know He already knows all of the outcome. He is never surprised. I don’t know everything (or anything mostly). I can’t just surrender parts of my life to Him. He deserves it all and will take care of it all. I’m thankful He knows everything, knowing how much He loves me. It makes me feel better.

Peanut Butter

2009-06-20T06:09:00.001-07:00

Had a 'moment' last night. Let me describe it. It was just beginning to storm outside. I was in my pajamas, in bed, with just a lamp on as I was trying to finish a pretty good novel. I had also just gotten up and made a piece of rye toast with peanut butter and strawberry jam. As I crawled back under the covers with my book and toast and the thunder and lightening, I thanked God. Thanked Him for this moment of just being so alive, so comfortable, with so many small pleasures. I wasn't worried about when I was going to sleep, when I was getting up, or the fact that I was eating such a favourite, but high- calorie snack that late and in bed.

I know some of you may be thinking- lame. Nice Friday night. What is she getting at?

But have you ever known people that have this special knack for always seeing just these tiny little beautiful things that others overlook? I have watched and learned from such people, often women. When I was a teenager, crossing the lake up north in a boat with my aunt, she remarked, "Look at the beautiful colour of your hair with the sun behind it." She sees with different eyes.

With lots of time to sit and observe now, I hope to hone this skill. To look for and appreciate the dozens and dozens of gorgeous moments that are happening all around us and which we usually speed by and of course take for granted. For me, I'm loving the luxury of eating as much peanut butter and jam toast as I want for now!

A Weekend of Grieving

2009-06-09T13:28:00.000-07:00

Here I am, in a beautiful serene cottage tucked away on ten acres of straight, tall pines. God has given me quiet, nature and beauty in which to grieve. We are up at Todd’s aunt’s cabin in northern Michigan. The air is crisp, the greenery slowly flourishing, and I keep crying. I have surrendered many areas of my life to God, especially over the last 5 years. My mourning over my Dad’s death, my struggles with divorce, the uncertainties and fear of mission work. But, on Friday as I attended my first trip to the cancer clinic and received my treatment plan, I began to understand even more what it looks like to surrender all. After sitting with me for well over an hour, the doctor’s parting words were, “Hopefully in a year, this will all be behind you.”
That seems to be the sentence that took me down, the one that keeps running through my head. A year. Wait, I had plans, remember? I am supposed to be returning to Africa, to work with kids, showing God’s love. I’m supposed to be healthy and young and carefree and adventurous.

I am grieving my plans. My trip to Africa, the meaningful work that I was supposed to be involved with. I grieve my pride, my lack of control over what is going to happen soon to my body, my physical appearance. I grieve my time, and energy and interests, all which must bow to how I’m feeling on any particular day during treatment. I am grieving my motherhood. Chemo may take my fertility.

The truth is though, that all of these areas were already out of my control. We just believe we can control all circumstances, all areas of our life. In reality, life can shift in an instant, without any say on our part.

On the way to the appointment Friday morning, I listened to one of my favourite songs. Part of it goes like this:
To you, I give my life, not just the parts I want to. To you, I sacrifice, these dreams that I hold on to; because You’re thoughts are higher than mine, You’re Words are deeper than mine, You’re Love is Stronger than mine. This is no sacrifice, here’s my life.

Every aspect of my life, huge or minute, whether talent, energy, relationship, desire, everything, was a gift designed by God that created me exactly how I am anyway. It’s all His. Every bit of it. His thoughts, words, love, plan and perspective succeed my tiny ones in every way. The only way to get through this is to give it all back to Him anyway and let Him work it out with wonder and glory. This is no sacrifice, here’s my life.

Some Thoughts on Lent (2 of 2)

2009-04-06T10:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I talked about realizing that my motivation for following Lent this year wasn't so pure. I thought about the question, "Why am I really doing this?', in response to the things I had committed to following. After I was honest with myself that my motivations were largely selfish and needed to be re-looked at, this led to the next question.

“What then, was God really asking or wanting me to do?”
Shortly after this question surfaced, I read Isaiah 58 on True Fasting. I’ll let you read it, but the first half addresses the heart issue. God says that when you fast, but still exploit or end up fighting with others, or go through the religious motions but without meaning, than it is not acceptable to God.

Then God answers the second question of, ‘What then, is meaningful to Him?’ Isaiah 58 says, “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke...is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?” (6-7)

Whoa. Had I been doing that AT ALL? Had I even been conscience of that?? I get so wrapped up in what I 'should' be doing, that I miss all the real opportunities in front of me to actually do something. Does my fasting and giving come from a place of deep love for God? Is it a response to that or is it obligation? God wants us to do these things for Him and for others, but only if it is a response of love and gratitude for Him, recognizing that He has given us everything anyway. We should simply and happily offer a bit of this back, knowing He owns all. If we recognize this, our giving and fasting and prayer changes and deepens and can finally take on and give out life, which it is intended to do, rather than being staunch and dead and a ‘I can’t do this- it’s Lent’, kind of thing.

Does my giving actually hurt me a bit, or cause me some discomfort in my life for the sake of others because I really want to love my neighbour? If we choose this kind of giving, or fasting, or praying, we will do things that really honour God and others. We will finally give our food to the food pantry that we like best, not least, and our clothes that are under a year old and we may actually still like and fit. We will take the money we would spend on coffee once a week and rather than buying something else with it, donate it instead, not because it is ‘the right thing to do’, but because in depriving ourselves, we bring a new life to others. We may, when we are abstaining from a food, actually remember those hungry today and unable to feed their kids empty stomachs, whether here or abroad.

So, needless to say, I didn’t do very well at the three things I pledged to do to prepare for Easter. However, they still served their purpose. During the process of struggling to fulfill them in some hollow way, I realized so much more about the motivation of my heart.

Some Thoughts on Lent (1 of 2)

2009-04-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

As we enter Holy Week, I thought I would share a bit of my own experience with Lent this year. Even with a short time left, it’s worthwhile to think again about what we do and why we do it as we approach Easter. Traditionally for me, Lent is a time to dedicate a little more time to God and to deepen my relationship with Him in preparation for Easter and the glory of the Resurrection. It’s the most joyful season of the year- approaching the day when the fullness of Jesus’ life and purpose was finally realized. The glory and vastness of Easter also highlights our own human weaknesses and the deep realization that we need a God to redeem us. This isn’t a ‘Wow, I’m nothing’ kind of thing, but a humbleness and reverence for the Power that Overcomes All. This is why I think Lent is meant to be a time of introspection of how our own sins separate us from God and how we can draw closer to God, who is alive and well in us. Lent usually involves three components to help us become more aware of ourselves and our intentions: prayer, fasting and alms-giving or giving to the poor. I try and choose something to do in each one of these areas to focus on.

So, a few weeks before Ash Wednesday, I started to think about these and the first question that came to my mind was, ‘What am I going to give up?’ Chocolate, TV, sugar. Pray more, go to church more. Give something away. This seems the typical question I ask myself and it seems, most people ask themselves. “What am I going to give up?” So, with the same question as always, I started to give up the same, typical things. This year, I decided to give up second-helpings, spend more time in prayer, and go through my closet to give away a bag of clothes.

Somewhere though, in the last few weeks, I started to feel uneasy about these. All of them, in and of themselves, are ok; they’re good things that maybe we should be trying to do. But, in thinking about these, struggling to do these, and being mindful as I go, as the initial weeks went by, two other questions entered my mind and have taken root there.

The first question that came is: “Why am I really doing this?” If I’m honest about it, it’s still largely about me. ‘Oh, this is a great time to lose weight, or get healthier, or finally get rid of the clothes I don’t ever wear anyway.’ Even praying more or going to church- they’re largely about the set of religious rules I’ve constructed that make me feel better about myself when I’ve fulfilled them. Most times, doing these things feels pretty empty, and they’re more difficult to do because I usually forgot why I am doing it. It became more of a rule than something I had actually freely CHOSEN to do.

The problem with all of these, without the proper motivation of the heart, is that they rarely fulfill what God really wants from us- to be closer to Him. Not eating the chocolate, but eating the vanilla, rarely increases my love for God. I don’t take the time to reflect more on God during that time of fasting, or giving or praying. It just makes me feel better to say that I’m ‘doing’ something for Lent. The other reality is that in answering the question, ‘What am I going to give up?’, I chose things that really don’t hurt me one bit. I put a little more on my plate the first time around and when sorting those clothes, really, I gave away the ones I never wear or don’t fit.

What is the motivation of our hearts in doing the things we do to please God and to serve others?

Tomorrow... The second question....

Recent Case of Abortion

2009-03-12T16:06:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago, I cut an out article from the Windsor Star that my mom had seen and drawn to my attention. The article featured a nine-year old girl from Brazil that, after three years of being raped by her 23-year-old stepfather, had become pregnant with twins. Her attending doctors did not think her under-developed body would be able to carry the twins, and so were discussing the possibility of performing an abortion. Abortion in Brazil is technically illegal, except in the cases of rape and if the woman's health is jeopardized. However, as we all know, illegal things still happen all of the time. When in Brazil, I heard many, many stories of the frequency and methods of abortions performed in the slums. I think I even wrote a blog about a woman I knew that was almost aborted (See 'House of the Sower' Monday, October 20th.

I'm not even sure how to tackle this issue. This story touches the core of many of the most severe problems facing Brazil- acceptance of sexualized behaviour in society, widespread and ongoing abuse in and between families, and generational poverty that helps to keep this cycle going. These are all issues we wrestle with in Canada too- the idea of 'choice', child protection and abuse. While in Brazil, I studied abortion proceedures, the rates at which they occur, and the devastation it causes. Consider this:

Worldwide, 40 million abortions are performed every year. 40 million. The population of Canada + 8 million wiped out in 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006 etc. Every year. Our children and peers.

Who Suffers?
I am not merely Pro-life for the sake of the child- but also I'm Pro-life for the women that endure this. Can you imagine the horror and trauma that this girl has faced while still so little? Does she even stand a chance in life? Her body and identity have been stolen and destroyed. This abortion at such a young age only adds to this horror. Abortion brings an aspect of death and destruction to her reality that she cannot begin to understand now but must deal with for the rest of her life. Many women do not even realize the full extent to what they are doing or the impact it will forever have on their life. Where was this little girl's choice in any of this? It is important that we show compassion to women who have undergone abortions. It is important to know why they chose to do this and what we can do to support women in this position and those facing the decision that have not yet decided.

These babies. I know how they were conceived. I know the life they will face. But, my heart still aches for these two little babies that are gone. People often raise questions such as- 'Why has someone not yet found a cure to cancer?' How many potential top scientists, teachers, artists and friends have been killed?

So, I have included the article from the paper. Please read it and let me know what you think. It is important to talk about these things and not just ignore them or take them as 'normal'.

In her circumstances, did the doctors do the right thing in performing this abortion?? Leave a comment in the comment section.

Victim, 9, may abort- Sao Paulo March 2, 2009
A nine-year-old girl pregnant after years of alleged sexual abuse by her stepfather is likely to abort twins she is carrying in a case that has shocked Brazil, reports here said Saturday. The Brazilian girl, who was not identified because she is a minor, was found to be four months pregnant after being taken to hospital suffering stomach pains, the news websites G1, pe360graus and the Diario de Pernambuco reported. She was being cared for by a medical and psychological team in the Maternal-Child Institute in the northern city of Recife, close to her hometown of Alagoinha in Pernambuco state. "We don't know if she will develop the pregnancy up to the end because of the structure of her body. It is a big risk for her," said the doctor who confirmed the girl's pregnancy, Jose Severiano Cavalcanti. "She doesn't have a pelvis able to support a gestation of twins," he explained.
Abortion is illegal in Brazil except in cases of rape or if the woman's health is in danger.
The institute in Recife was unable to immediately confirm information about the case, telling AFP that authorized spokespeople were not available on the weekend.
According to police accounts reported in the media, the 23-year-old stepfather was believed to have abused the girl since she was six, paying her around 50 cents for each sexual relation.

**The abortion was indeed performed later by the girl's attending doctor.

My Public Speaking Debut

2008-10-26T16:47:00.000-07:00

Today was a great opportunity and growing experience for me. Cassia, our Portuguese teacher, invited us to go to church with her today. When we got there, Pastor Rubens welcomed us really warmly, showing us around the church and introducing us to some of the members. After a few minutes, he said that he would like to give us a few minutes of time during the service to share our story of why we are in Brazil and to also share what our experience was in Mozambique. Normally I hate these things, especially when it is spontaneous like this and requires talking in front of a group of strangers. But, it was something that I did not seek out, but was given to me and really was an awesome opportunity. So, Todd and I got up and were able to share through a translator a little of what we had been doing so far. We spoke for about 10 minutes and then the congregation prayed for us and blessed us. We were also able to speak to a few people afterwards. There was also a visiting pastor today from another church in Brazil and who is interested in going to Mozambique!! The church is going to follow us as we go and said they would like to send a youth mission team for two weeks to Mozambique to assist the project there. It's probably best that this first happened unexpectedly or I would likely never have done it. We will refine our presentation though, as we were asked to speak at another church in a few weeks. This is another way God is really stretching me. I feel like a real missionary, especially when we were treated to lunch after the service!

Rescued

2008-10-23T16:40:00.000-07:00

For the last two weeks, we have been working with the Rescue House. This is the house that we go out with on Friday nights to talk to the kids on the streets. They act as the first contact for kids to come into one of the other homes long term. Periodically, they also do a Triage of two weeks, where the kids come to stay and do an initial period of detoxing and adjusting to life in a home again. Last week, Rescue House started a new Triage.
So Monday, we went the slum to one of the boy’s house to pick him up for the start of the Triage. Bruno is 13 and has been coming to the program at the Lighthouse. At the house, his mom was there, where she, her partner and the 5 kids live in two rooms- one where they all sleep, and one for eating and living. So, why is Bruno coming to Triage if he has a home?
The favellas are run by drug lords. It has become so dangerous in these areas that the police refuse to enter them. Recently, Bruno began to get involved with the drug traffickers, running drugs and money back and forth to people. He became scared though, and didn’t want to do it anymore. Unfortunately, this is not something you can do. Currently, his life is under a death threat. Murder by drug lords is something that is expected if you decide to leave and so the staff needed to get him out of the area.
So, when at Bruno’s house, he wasn’t there. His mom sent his youngest brother to find him and bring him back. The brother returned saying that Bruno would not come. We waited. After awhile, Bruno did show up. However, after talking to the staff for a few minutes, he had to leave. Incredibly, he was in the middle of a drug deal at the time and had to return some money. We left, feeling heavy because of the uncertainty of the situation.
Wednesday when we went to the house though, Bruno was there! He had decided to come! He has such a gentle face. We spent the afternoon there, playing Uno with the boys and celebrating one of the staff’s birthdays. There are four boys in total, ages 11, 12, 13 and 14! They are a special bunch. While in the kitchen that day, I noticed one of the boys was missing a patch of hair at the back of his head and there were stiches sticking out. The staff told us later that his mom had been beating him. The 11 year old is especially interesting. His mother also lived on the street and three weeks ago, she was struck by a car and killed. We visited the extended family, who hadn’t found out for over two weeks since the death. This young boy is reeling from that, as well as going through withdrawl symptoms from crack cocaine. The staff have been working with him on the streets for some time now and are really hopeful for a change in his life. He is still so young.
If the boys do well over the next week, they will move here, to the house I’m staying with the other boys. Please pray for these boys over the next week, that they will be able to stick it out and start making some good relationships with the staff.

Not All Bad In Belo

2008-10-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, lots of heavy blogs, so here is one not so heavy and some great stuff going on!!!

I have started taking Portuguese lessons! They speak Portuguese is Mozambique too, so once we got over the first basic lesson, it has been really fun to learn! I always wanted to learn a new language, but am not very natural at it! I also got a Portuguese-English Bible, some music, and of course, there are lots of people to practice with. I am now stringing short sentences together!!! Wow, you and me Becca, we got a lot in common! Lots of exclamation marks = excitement!!!!

So, food wise, Brazilians love beans and rice and eat both with lunch and dinner every single day. Literally, if for some crazy reason one of these is missing from a meal, they complain. Besides this, they also love sugar! They dump so much sugar in the coffee and tea here. There are ice-cream shops on every street. One really good treat they have here is Acai, which is a fruit from the Amazon region blended with ice and topped with banana and granola. It is supposed to be really healthy for you. They also drink Guarana soda which kind of tastes like Canada Dry with a little cherry in it. It's good though!

So, its not all bad in Belo, just intense most of the time.

Friday Nights

2008-10-21T16:44:00.000-07:00

I had a really difficult experience on Friday, one of my most difficult personally so far. For our Friday nights on the streets, we went to the Red Light District here. It was horrible. In about a six block radius, there are 4500 prostitutes working day and night, 24/7. They have hotels set up where the women pay a daily fee to use a room.

It is hard to describe the scene. Before we started in the area, we were talking and getting prepared together on the streets. A drunk man was right on the sidewalk in front of us, digging for food and eating it out of a pile of trash bags. There was another man passed out right in the middle of the side walk and people just walked around him. The whole area smelled of urine and filth.

As we stood there I watched hundreds of men walking into just two brothels. I'm not exaggerating. With 4500 prostitutes, hundreds were piling in and out. I could compare it to watching people go to Starbucks on a busy morning to get their coffee, except the men pay less than we do for a coffee. There is a joke in the area, that you can get a woman for a '$1.99 special'- less than $1 Canadian. The women have to pay a daily fee of $20-40 reias for the room, so it is disgusting what she must do to just pay this off.

Prostitution is very common here. Many parents sell their young daughters into sexual slavery in order to make money. This is acceptable by men to the extent that some fathers take their sons to lose their virginity in this way even at young ages. You can imagine the disease, both physical and emotional, that grips this area.

As we walked around, I felt so heavy. I felt like I could barely breath, the feeling of oppression was so great there. On that walk I could feel just darkness and sadness. There are children in the brothels too, though they remain mostly unseen. I was feeling pretty mixed up emotionally, which I talked about in our de-brief when we got back.

As we have been studying, the way women are treated in society is so important to the health of that society. Women still bear the greatest responsibility for raising children and therefore passing on the values and ideals of the world.

At home, during the week I would plan what I would do on the weekends. It was something I always looked forward to. On Friday nights, I would go for dinner with friends, or maybe get together to watch a movie. My Friday nights have totally changed. What a luxury it is to have a choice of what to do to relax on a night off. How many people get that?

House of the Sower

2008-10-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

House of the Sower is the program for children that are deaf. In this society, a handicap such as this is often seen as a curse for sins of the parents. Most of these kids are shunned by society and there is very little or no assistance for them. Sower House helps them with homework, learning sign, and most importantly, gives them a great social support system of care and friendship. Most of the kids travel 2 hours by bus each way to attend.

The Sower House had an interesting start. It is run in part by one of the children of the Lukasses, who began the entire YWAM program here almost 25 years ago. Dilmas was adopted by the Lukasses' after being found in a box on the street. Dilma is deaf, and it is believed that her deafness was caused by her mother's attempt to abort Dilma. One common method of abortion in the slums is for the woman to ingest a mixture of herbs/chemicals/other substances meant to abort the fetus. Dilma survived, but doctors believe it was this tragic beginning that caused her deafness. After adopting her, Dilma's parents prayed for her healing from deafness. Instead, God healed her emotional scars, and today, the Sower House exists primarily because of Dilma's life.

While there, we were lucky enough to again visit the house of one of the students, who is 18 and has never learned the alphabet. The staff have been reaching out to his family for 4 years, trying to get him to attend the program. His parents were alcoholics though and were unable to have him attend. Now that they have stopped drinking he is starting to learn how to use sign language and learn the alphabet and write.

At the end of the first day with them, we all sat in a circle and the children at the center gave me a sign language name. It is the letter A made with your hand in sign, and moving behind your ear as if pushing your hair back. It was fun to learn with them and help them. The center is such a blessing!

Any One Day

2008-10-19T16:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever experienced the spirit of love? Have you ever been a part of or been witness to something that was so powerful that you were overcome just with the depth of the emotions you had inside? Many times in my life this has happened- usually when I’m with family and especially with my nieces and nephews. On Wednesday, for our weekly service, the different houses all came together and did a talent show, where the kids and staffs performed. It was held at the Lighthouse, the community center on a hill in the middle of the slum. This spirit of love was incredibly strong that night. The Lighthouse performance was done by the girls aged 6-9 group. One of the opportunities they have been exposed to at the Lighthouse is a weekly ballet class. I know in my blog about Thanksgiving I talked a little about life in the slums and the reality that children there face. Ballet is not something that is available to girls from the slum. So, when the girls came out, wearing the tutu’s the staff had purchased for them, their faces were beaming. They were so excited!! They did a very formal ballet number- it was awesome! I was crying before they began. In my life at home, this would be a special event but probably not the most significant one in a child’s life. For this group of small girls though, this was an opportunity that they definitely would not have had without the Lighthouse and probably one that will be one of those moments they remember clearly as an adult. For me, there’s a lot of things that went into the emotion of that night. There are so many ugly things here. Not just ugly- detestable, evil. Garbage, drugs, homelessness, prostitution. Then in one moment, when a little girl comes out in a tutu, it is all redeemed. Any one day in this place would be enough to know reality...Any one day in this place could ruin your emotions...Any one day is enough for the spirit of love to take a hold of you...

Thanksgiving

2008-10-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

A quick break down of the super seven (girls I room with) and where they are from:

Lydia & Kirsten: Holland

Kate: England

Michelle: Brazil

Zanda: Latvia

Heidi and I: Canada

So, the vast majority of those I'm amongst do not have a holiday called Thanksgiving.

Right now in Belo Horizonte, it is spring. The flowers were out in full bloom, the temperature has fluctuated in three days from 38 degrees down to 20, and everything is becoming green.

Back home though, it is turning colder, and the air is getting that awesome crispness, and the leaves are changing. Trish and Grady flew in this week for a two week visit at Mom's and Sean, Ellen and Daya are coming next weekend. This is what I miss: sitting with Trish and Ellen and Mim in front of the fireplace with tea and cookies, watching the babes play together. I really miss going outside in the morning with a hot coffee and seeing my mom in her plaid coat, rake in hand, burning the fall leaves. I miss my brothers cooking up a storm in the kitchen and carving the turkey, looking so much like Dad. I miss Dad's stuffing. We still have the stuffing, but I miss Dad.

In Brazil though today, it is Children’s Day, a big holiday here. So, instead of having Thanksgiving, our class went to the slums. This is a big slum of 70 000 people. During the week, we had prepared a 90 minute presentation for the kids. We decorated the area with balloons and had puppets, bubbles and candy bags. The main part of the presentation was a modern day version of the Prodigal Son, where the main character leaves his home to go live on the streets. We also had short mimes by a clown, and an activity afterward. I was part of the team that dressed up with face paint and went into the slums to get the kids. Our team walked around with noisemakers and blowing bubbles. It was an incredible experience, going to the doors of the homes and along the alleys to invite the kids. One little girl that was in my group had open sores on her face. Altogether, 135 children attended. The thing that continues to strike me during my time here is that no matter the ‘Child At Risk’ Category we are working with (teen mom, deaf, ex-street child, living in slums), children are children. Most of these kids live in families where their father (if they know who they are), are drug traffickers, and the women in their lives are prostitutes. Gang violence is a regular part of life and for many of them, this is what they see as a reality for their future too. You would think that they would be beyond our activities. I mean, it even made me a little nervous going into the slums. I thought, ‘What are these kids going to be like?’ We get such a picture of hardened kids, which is part of the truth. Yet unbelievably, they were still are in awe of clusters of bright balloons and clowns with funny faces, maybe even more so because its such a rare thing for them. These are pure characteristics of children; awe, faith, zeal, the ones that God intended for every child to experience every day, not just on a holiday once a year.

So, this year, I am extra thankful for my family. Family is the most basic, intimate unit on earth. Really, if every family was able to take care of its own members, the vast majority of ministries would not exist. They simply wouldn’t have enough work. So, while I miss my family today, I know I’m only here simply because I am lucky enough to have them as a family, and because God wants me to stand in the gap for all of the children that are not able to be thankful for theirs today. I love you Fam! Your love continues on here through me, reaching out to these children...

Reborn

2008-10-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

The first house we have done outreach in is the Reborn House, which takes care of teen mothers with young babies. Currently, there are two moms there with their little ones, both boys under two years old. While there, one of our jobs was to paint a small house on the back of the property that one of the moms is staying in now as she begins to transition to living on her own. This girl has an incredibly painful past. She began living on the streets when she was 7 years old, after already suffering much abuse at home. When first going to the streets, she began dating a boy who was 9 years old that was in a gang and dealt drugs. Although this may seem impossible, girls must have a 'boyfriend' in order to be somewhat protected from being raped and abused by multiple men. By the age of 14, she had already had three pregnancies and miscarriages. When she became pregnant with her little boy now, she moved off the streets into the Reborn House. She continued to see the father though, who was actually the same boy. They had remained together through this time, although he continued to live on the streets. Then, during this time, he had paint thinner poured on him and ignited. After being in the hospital, he died. This girl has seen more tragedy in her 16 years than I will likely ever see. Although she is doing well, she has emotional hardships that will never completely leave her. Unfortnately, this is a very common story. Please pray for her as she and her son build a life together. Also, thank God that the Reborn House ministry exists. Without it, she and her son would be on the streets. It is so hard to imagine, looking at the boys crawling around, that they would be living on the streets here. The Reborn House has provided them with not only food and shelter, but also trusting relationships with adults and healthy role models for both of them.(Setting people on fire is a common form of revenge among the gangs in Belo).

Reconstruction

2008-10-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

Life here continues to be busy. We have classes and/or outreach six days a week. There is a heavy workload on top of that. While I'm not really too worried about the work getting finished or the grade I get, having such a full schedule does add a level of stress. It's not really one thing here, but just the experiences doing outreach here and the topics in classes that can be intense. It is a very intense program, designed I think to spur growth intellectually but also personally. I definitely notice in my life that a lot of new intense experiences with not a lot of processing time brings me to a place of meekness and tearing down a lot within me. I also notice though that in these times of seeming weakness, that a lot of growth can happen when old prejudices and ideas are torn out and replaced with better ones.

For example, this week all lectures were on the topic of HIV/AIDS around the world and with children. Carla, a woman who began the Refuge House for children suffering from HIV in Brazil, discussed statistics, health, and bereavement. Interestingly, today was also my day to work at the Refuge House. Everyone holds some prejudice against people with this virus. The first thing everyone wants to know is: "How did you get it?" for then we can assign a judgement of responsibility, and from there, to what level of compassion we will offer. For myself, I had to realize that I have a higher level of compassion for prostitutes in this country than in North America, because I view their ability to choose that lifestyle differently. While prostitutes in NA may indeed have more choice or options in which lifestyle they choose, this should not influence MY response to them. I do not know, and cannot know, the infinite factors that have contributed to someone's life or their current situation. I can't even guess. But, what I can know is that despite what choices/influences/factors carried them to this point, it is at this point now that they require my compassion. Every person is broken. My response should be as Jesus' response was- grace, help, acceptance. It is difficult, especially around topics like this, to separate the Sin from the Sinner. To hate the sin and love the sinner, no matter the context. So, the school not only informs when giving these teachings, but is also trying to have us really dig into what Truths we hold and which of these need to be uprooted and replaced if we want to go further and deeper into meaningful ministry and truly connecting with people.

Princesses!

2008-09-29T16:29:00.000-07:00

So, Then one morning, I was out on a walk before class. I was thinking about this idea of sensuality quite a bit, and to be honest, pitying myself. Then, quite suddenly, God clarified it for me.

Anna, this IS a Kingdom of God issue. You do need to worry about it, just not in the way you’ve been thinking. The people in this city are in bondage by this. The women, my daughters, consider sexuality their value. The men, my sons, are in bondage too, over this. They are slaves to it. This is a stronghold that the devil has here. This is a Kingdom issue. Being a missionary is about everything in your life exemplifying Me. So yes, your clothes, your make-up, the way you portray yourself in this city is part of what I have called you here for.

And like that, my perspective and attitude changed. Yes I still struggle with it. But I see it for what it is. God has now given me a heart for this, to pray against its power here.
In class this week we spent some time praying about this issue. I’ve learned a lot. Basically, when Portugal colonized Brazil, the government sent many prostitutes and criminals here to get them out of the country. So this is now a part of Brazil’s heritage. We had a time of prayer for the country. Last week we watched a Brazilian film on child prostitutes that are taken from rural areas and brought to the cities. This is a huge problem. It was a very difficult film to watch. Next week on Friday night we are going to the Red Light District, 3/4 of a mile in which 4500 prostitutes live and work. Apparently there is literally a constant stream of men entering the brothels, so we need to be prepared for that.

So, this issue keeps re-surfacing. Its not one that’s ever been directly in my line of vision, but maybe God is changing that. Pray for the men and women and children of Brazil to be freed from this.

Princesses?

2008-09-28T16:27:00.000-07:00

One of the things I really despited about Brazil when first arriving, and still struggle with, is the amount of sexuality in this culture. I came from AFRICA, where I wore long, loose skirts made of one piece of material that made my body have no discernable shape. I didn’t wear makeup because no one does, and I wore my hair back because of the heat and dirt. Isn’t that how missionaries are supposed to look?
When arriving in Brazil, part of the culture shock was the focus on outward appearances. Literally, almost every women wears tight pant, short skirts and low cut tops. This applies to women over the age of 60, and women that are overweight. So, it didn’t take long for my self esteem to plummet and to look at my clothes and hair with general distaste. I haven’t had the means to really take care of myself the way I would at home. My feet aren’t even clean, let alone pedicured. Besides being ultra-conservative, most of my clothes are also worn out because of the lifestyle and hand washing. Most of the people in the class flew from first world countries, with really nice clothes and more than three things in their toiletry bag. You’d think this wouldn’t be a big deal. Seriously, one of the things that really bothers me is that I don’t feel like I should even have to deal with this. Aren’t I here on a lot more important matters? Shouldn’t I be more worried about the Kingdom of God than looking like a princess? I’m well educated, smart, relatively in-shape woman. Besides feeling self pity, I also felt angry. But honestly, you would be surprised at how quickly I was affected by this. It really affected me. As a woman, any woman, it is not a fun feeling when you feel less attractive than every woman in your surroundings. Every woman, even missionaries, want to be thought of as beautiful and desirable. I hated the culture this created.
Where is the balance between taking care of the body God gave you and not letting it become an idol? This happens so much in Canada too- every billboard, magazine and TV show. I really can’t stand it. If it affects me, in my 30’s, how much more are teenage girls affected by it. So maybe this is seemingly an issue of personal pride or insecurity. I would probably agree with you. Really, it’s even a luxury to have to worry about this. But, it is still a very real struggle for many women. So now what?

Follow-Up

2008-09-15T16:26:00.000-07:00

I’m so glad now that I sent out a prayer request. It is easy when you are on another continent to feel like you are battling alone, without your usual friends by your side fighting. I was reminded though, after sending that email, that I am not battling the social issues and personal struggles alone. Last week, after returning from talking to people on the streets, the leader of our group said that even if we didn’t feel there was a difference in the people after talking to them, our presence among them was making a powerful difference in the spiritual world. I felt the same tonight, that there are so many people that are thinking of and praying for us.
We had a very restoring weekend. Our sleep was better. On our day off we went to a museum and to a bookstore for dinner. Today we had breakfast and worked at the Reborn House. We gardened (therapeutic!) and then enjoyed a BBQ with the staff, staying two hours later than we planned, simply because we were enjoying ourselves so much. Thank you, thank you. Know that every positive thought and prayer are truly invaluable to me.
It is easy to forget, or in the very least underestimate, the impact that this has on my life and in the grand scheme of life here. But prayer is definitely our most powerful tool for change, as we can change very little on our own. We happened to read this verse in class today...

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” 2 Corinthians 10:4

Warfare

2008-09-13T16:25:00.000-07:00

So the idea of spiritual warfare is a relatively new one to me (last few years). Basically it means that there is a constant struggle going on in the lives of people between Satan and the forces of God, both of course who want to win souls. This is a very real part of life and all of us have experienced this in many ways. Often it can be temptations, thoughts, frustrating circumstances, or any host of things to basically turn our attention away from God and instead to complaining, self-pity or feelings like discouragement, fear or doubt.

I shared with some of you that before coming to Brazil there were different circumstances that happened that started creating uneasiness and nervousness in both of us. I'll spare you the details, but our emails and references to YWAM got lost and the airline cancelled our plane tickets. We were wondering if this was a sign from God. We talked to Sidney about it and he also thought that maybe something so great was going to happen in Brazil that perhaps it could also be satan trying to dissuade us. The last thing satan wants are people being trained to do ministry to rescue and restore the lives of children.

After arriving on the night where it was storming and the power was out, we have now faced two weeks of other somewhat difficult things. We both have not been able to sleep. We feel restless and overwhelmed with the culture. There is little time, space or quite. I broke a tooth and had stomach pain yesterday. And so it continues...

So, here's the other side. God has used EVERY circumstance here. Every day it is difficult to process all of the truth He is telling us about life here and in ministry. The classes begin with an hour of music and prayer and the classes are focused on the reality of the streets here and how to really begin to change communities. We have begun working 3 days a week at Reborn Home. Friday nights we've been going to the streets just to talk and hang out with the kids and adults there.

While in Mozambique, a missionary there was talking about the Book of Job, where literally Job was hit by everything from illness, to death in his family, to financial ruin. Throughout this, Job decides to remain faithful to God and to continue to follow Him. This missionary was saying that when we choose to do this, then God can actually use our difficult circumstances and positive response to mock the devil.

So Friday we prayed that no matter what happens, we sing louder, we work harder, we learn more. We believe that right now we are exactly where we should be. So here we will stay. Please continue to pray for us!

"Being a Christian is really hard. There is only one thing that is more difficult- not being a Christian."

Bem Vindo (Welcome)

2008-08-30T16:19:00.000-07:00

We arrived here on Saturday. Thankfully Sidney came to get us from the airport. After an hour bus then taxi drive, we came to a dark side street. The ‘door’ looked like the others, a steel store front or garage door. It was raining and the electricity was out. The staff and boys were on the roof, having a farewell BBQ for some of the staff. After they threw the keys down, we took our stuff to our rooms. My room is a shared room with 8 bunk beds in it. There was water seeping in from under the door onto the floor where I put my bag.
That night was the first one since leaving home that I did not sleep well. There is so much noise here. The next morning was the first one since leaving home that I felt homesick. It is claustrophobic here. No space in the room. No space in this building, that is all concrete, with its walls jutting up against every other building in this city, and which houses boys, staff, volunteers and students. No space in this city. The city’s name is Belo Horizonte, which means Beautiful Horizon. I can’t seem to find the horizon here. This must be what reverse culture shock is. Leaving the beauty, quiet and slow pace of Africa for the extremely extroverted culture of a city like Belo.
In the last few days though, we’ve begun adjusting again (incredible human adaptability). The girls I share a room with are great- tea drinkers and chocolate lovers. The school is interesting and lots of work. There is a supermarket around the corner with a choice of toothpaste. I have found a beautiful park with a pond and bamboo within walking distance. And, standing on a hill outside of the city in the middle of a favella (slum) of 70,000 people yesterday, I finally saw the Beautiful Horizon. I’m not so sure what this place will bring just yet, only that God has opened doors to allow me to be here. So, it will be ok....

Illness

2008-08-11T16:18:00.000-07:00

Thank you for praying for our health. We have come through over two months in Africa and have not had any major health problems. Despite eating with our hands, which always seem dirty, walking daily through the garbage in the village, and being around many communicable diseases, we have thankfully avoided major illness. Even simple things do not seem to heal well here, because of the lack of clean water and the constant dirt. A cut often requires a round of antibiotics. This month we have met many people suffering from a variety of sicknesses, many of which occur at a greater frequency than in North America, and certainly with more devastating effects. Among these have been chicken pox, malaria, worms, and physical deformities. One of the children had a big round bump on his chin one day, which seemed to appear over night. Julie told us it is a worm that drops as a larvae from mango trees and buries under your skin. Apparently you just pop it and it comes out. So, it’s not the most dangerous thing to contract, but it is pretty nasty none the less. One child we met had one side of his face larger than the other. The family said he had had an ache there for four years. One of the most difficult things for me to look at are the physical deformities. There are many people with twisted or crippled legs or feet, with some literally dragging themselves along the ground on their stomachs. This is incredibly hard to see. In Mozambique, where it is mostly sand and dirt, these people’s faces are so close to the ground as they try and move around. It is so degrading. There is also the severe impact of HIV here. We have heard that by 2050, there the entire population of Swaziland could be completely gone from the earth due to the AIDS epidemic there. Despite the severity of the problem, it continues to be largely ignored by both the government and the people themselves. So, today I will take the de-worming pills and thank God that it is nothing worse than that.

About Moz

2008-08-10T16:17:00.000-07:00

Following the withdraw of Portugal from the country, Mozambique engaged in a civil war until 1994. The rebel forces were at least 40% child soldiers that were abducted from villages, brain-washed and forced to fight (similar to the book The Long Road Home based on the civil war in Sierra Leone and to scenes from Blood Diamond). This means that much of the adult population now in Mozambique were actively engaged in the war. These are the parents and leaders of the country.

Education is severely inadequate. Many adults are still studying under the seventh grade. In some parts of the country, classes are not even offered past grade seven. It is a major accomplishment to complete grade ten. Although a university degree costs around a $1000 US, this is not accessible to the majority of the population because of the entrance tests, number of available spots, or lack of finances.

The water is unsafe to drink, containing parasites and other diseases. Within the last few years there was a cholera outbreak in Pemba, where we were staying. This also makes fresh fruit and vegetables unsafe to eat unless cooked or cleaned with bleach water. Most people do not eat every day. Some children have yellow hair, a sign of chronic malnutrition.

One in five children die before their fifth birthday. Some estimates are that 100% of street children are sexually active, either being abused or abusing other children. Many children die before they are 18 if they are on the street.

On our visit to the southern border of Mozambique, to Ponto de Ouro, we visited a local missionary that had been working in the area for 14 years. She told us that she has recently heard that in the capital city (Maputo, about 2 hours away), the local nurses and undertakers had made financial agreements. The undertakers were paying nurses to murder their patients in order to increase the funeral business.
Although there is so much work to be done in Mozambique- the AIDS crisis, education, health, infrastructure- it is also a beautiful country, with its entire eastern border on the Indian Ocean. The people are reserved but welcoming. They are desperate to improve their conditions and the lives of their children. Although many children are suffering in their homes, we also met many parents that would do anything to help their children. Unfortunately, this often meant allowing their children to be taken care of by foreign aid. Many children are forced to the street because there is simply no food in the house. This is a country that is still recovering from their past, and is hopeful for their future.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow: Sidney

2008-08-09T16:15:00.000-07:00

While in Cape Town, we had breakfast one day with Sheralyn, whose parents started Living Hope. We got to talking about our plans to go to Brazil. Sheralyn told us she had a friend there, Sidney, whom she had met in Michigan. She forwarded his newsletter to us, which was pretty cool, considering we hadn’t yet been accepted to the program so weren’t yet sure we were going.
Fast forward a month until this Sunday when Julie tells us a friend of hers would be joining us for the month. Sidney arrived today! He is a guy very dedicated to God, serving with a ministry called Masters Commission. He lived for many years at the exact house where we will be staying for 3 months. His sister is still there as well.
It’s so amazing how God works so completely. Knowing so little about Brazil, I was concerned about what the program and conditions would be like there. Now here I am, in South Africa, hearing about a Brazilian missionary, and then meeting him in Mozambique. God provides people at opportune times throughout our lives that give us direction and confirmation.

Thurs. Aug. 28th
Tomorrow night when we arrive in Belo Horizonte, Sidney will meet us in the airport and take us to the YWAM base. I’m very thankful for Sid and all of the things he has taught us. We’ve had many laughs we’ve had over the last month, learning about God and serving Him. We’re looking forward to seeing him on his home soil!

Baby!

2008-08-08T16:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when we got to the house, we found out that Maria had not come in. Her daughter, who was 9 months pregnant, was in the hospital. Last week, when we first visited Maria’s family, Julie had wanted to try and visit the daughter alone before she went into labour as she is at a high risk for having contracted HIV. One of Maria’s other daughters died in childbirth a few years ago, due to complications of her untreated HIV, and more women die in childbirth in Mozambique than any other country in the world.
Maria’s son is also positive. After going to one public hospital, and then to their home, we found out they were at a hospital in the village. At the hospital, we found Maria and then followed her into a small concrete room with 5 beds crammed together. The room was hot, with each new mom sleeping with her newborn. The delivery room was actually just the room we walked through to get to mom’s room. It had a bed where the mom would deliver and then be moved to the second room. It really doesn’t afford much privacy, as everyone can hear everything that happens. When we walked in, we handed Maria the bag of fruit we brought as a gift and then crowded around the bed where her daughter and new tiny granddaughter were. The baby did not have a name yet, but had a ton of dark curly hair, like all of the other babies in the room. Mom and baby seemed to be doing fine. We held the baby and then prayed for her before we left. It was absolutely amazing witnessing such a sacred and beautiful thing like the first hours of a brand new life in such a simple and undeveloped place. The total miracle of what happens everyday in that room was made even more obvious given the conditions. Julie wanted to return the next day to take them for HIV testing and immediate treatment, if necessary.

Today we picked up Maria, her daughter, and granddaughter and took them to the private clinic, where you pay less than 20 dollars to see the doctor. The AIDS test is a simple blood test that can be done with the results within an hour. There is a lot of stigma here about HIV, and Maria didn’t even want Julie to tell here daughter what the testing was for. In Pemba, all treatment for HIV is free. Thankfully, her daughter gave permission for the test. Her daughter is probably about 16 or 17 years old, and many girls get married and have children much younger than that. While we were waiting, I just prayed that God would spare both of their lives, which would then affect even more lives. HIV is so common here its scary. I can’t imagine thinking ‘my brother and sister have HIV. Maybe their kids do too. They’ll likely die within a few years.’ To watch one member of your family die in childbirth and then to know others in your family have it too.

I am reading a book on the AIDS crisis right now too. One statement from this book that has stayed with me is that AIDS turns all life forces to death. The primary forces of life- the blood in the our veins, sex, childbirth and breastfeeding- are also the forces that HIV utilizes to spread death. It’s hard to imagine, looking at a tiny face, fresh to the world, that AIDS could already be attacking her little body.

Yeah! Thankfully the results came back negative for both this mom and baby today. Thank you God!

Mornings

2008-08-07T16:12:00.000-07:00

In the mornings, around 7:15 before we leave to see the boys and begin our day, the four of us meet for devotions on the back porch. We watch the tide go out on the little piece of the Indian Ocean we’re on; the deep blue changing to aqua and then finally receding to the white sand. Today Julie led, talking about facing the giants in our lives and keeping our eyes fixed on God. Then during the first song she played, whales appeared. Throughout the next few minutes, we watched the water spouts as the music played, and even saw a few briefly come above the surface. It was pretty spectacular!

Injaule

2008-07-31T16:00:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I came home tonight overwhelmed and exhausted. We had set out to run a bunch of errands and get some supplies we needed while Julie had a meeting with the Mozambican staff to catch up on the last few months when she has been back in the U.S. We took Alecio with us, Maria’s grandson, as a guide. We also ended up with Injaule, one of the twins and his older brother Jaunito, both of whom we had brought to school only to find out their teacher had not shown up again. I brought the Eng-Port. dictionary with us and we set off around 1pm. First we went to the electricity depot to buy electricity (weird to actually have to do this yourself) and found we needed a number back at the house. Then we went to three different stores to return a case of empty coke bottles and get a new case. We couldn’t get this done because we were told that the coke factory was closed for a few days. This went on and on. The stores were all closed over the lunch hour, which is actually 12:30-3:00! You know that frustration that comes when your expectation is to accomplish ten things, and two get done? That’s what was happening in me, compounded by the desire to be by myself for a few hours, which had been growing all week and couldn’t yet fit into our schedule. My expectation had been that we would get the supplies and then I would return to the house to clean the house we are renting alone for a few hours.
After returning to the house to get the electricity information, we stopped by the staff meeting so Julie could check Injaule’s side, which he said had been hurting all day. He had vomited in the morning and just hadn’t been his funny, outgoing self all day. Julie said we should take him to the private clinic to have him checked for appendicitis. At the clinic, it was extremely difficult to communicate with both the receptionist and Injaule at the same time, as only one person spoke both Portuguese and English. In the doctors office, Injaule would hardly let the doctor examine him he was so nervous and afraid. Injaule doesn’t know exactly how old he is but he’s probably around 10 or so, and fearful of doctors. This fear is compounded because Injaule’s mom has refused to go for her HIV treatments because when she got her blood taken to be tested, she did not understand that her blood would rejuvenate itself, and instead thought she would run out of blood. So, after the exam, when Injaule needed to have his blood tested, he completely refused. There was nothing that I, his brother, or any of the nurses could do to convince him he would be ok. Finally, one of the nurses grabbed his arms and began dragging him. Injaule really started to cry and pull away. I had to take him out of the clinic and tell them I would come back later. I was by myself as Todd had to go meet the rest of the kids after school and I could not get a hold of Julie. We waited outside in the dark for them to return, me trying to lighten the mood with the boys, but wanting to cry myself. By 7:00pm that night, we had returned with Julie, had his blood taken, gotten a prescription and left. I could barely talk to anyone as I was so exhausted and overwhelmed.

An hour and a half later, I’m sitting next to Injaule, as he on a Mozambican bed in our living room. He is going to spend the night. Julie and Sidney have gone down the road for something to eat, so it is just the three of us. I have made him an egg sandwich, since eggs are a treat, but he tears it into pieces with his right hand, which is what he is used to doing. He has a tangerine and some juice to take his medicine. I put itunes on so we have some dinner music and I turn off some of the lights. After he eats, he pulls a sheet over him and I tuck him in. I rub his forehead and give him a kiss. I don’t know what to even think. If it had been his appendix, which we still don’t know, it is one of those things that I had been thinking about earlier in the week, a relatively easy condition to treat, but one in which he could have been seriously ill or died had he not been looked at. I thought about his mom, who would likely die this summer, leaving him and his brothers without any parent. If he had gone home tonight, I wondered what it would have been like, as he is usually responsible for caring for her. As I sat there though, I started to think about when Julie, Todd, Sidney and myself had prayed together that morning. God had really shown up for us today. This could have happened last month, when Julie wasn’t here, or the car could’ve died earlier (it did the next day), or a million other possible scenarios could have played out with different results. I thought again about something Julie had said to us earlier in the week, that it was such a privilege to be able to have the means to help these kids. A lot of what I was feeling then was replaced by a sense of purpose and meaning. Sitting next to Injaule, knowing he was feeling better, had a full belly, and was loved and spoiled a bit tonight, was what this is all about. This is really the heart of what Julie does. When all of the fund raising and organizing and menial tasks are done, this is what she does.

Boys

2008-07-26T15:58:00.000-07:00

Julie has arrived, coming in last night to surprise the boys with a dinner at a restaurant. We had taken them to the beach earlier in the afternoon and played games, ate some chocolate and took pictures. When the boys saw Julie, they started jumping up and down screaming and ran down the beach to meet her. I got some amazing pictures of Julie embracing each of them, kissing and hugging them.

Tonight, after dinner, we were sitting around with the kids in the dark yard. Usually the kids leave by 4:30 so that they can get home before dark, but tonight we were going to drive them, so we could stay a bit later with them. Domingos went and found the light bulb for the back porch and screwed it in. Then, one by one, the kids came up and read a few lines that they had written to her to welcome her home. They were actually typed up, which was huge, and then they gave her the paper as she hugged them. It was incredibly touching.

Today was the first day I realized I love these children. There have been times when just simply being with them and looking around at their faces has made me want to cry. They are so funny and amazing, just like every kid. I love to see how each of them are so different, but how they have really created a family for themselves. They love to dance and can do these crazy flips in the air. I have hesitated to write about them, not really knowing how to explain the feeling I have for them after such a short amount of time. What are all of these feelings of affection and protectiveness? How did they develop so quickly? Have I really only known them less than a week? In my struggle to understand all of this, and then to try and adequately explain it, I realized that it doesn’t matter how I describe it. It is what it is, and I think most people will understand it.

Becca

2008-07-25T10:44:00.000-07:00

I have thought about Becca so much this week. There are so many children here that are her age. The children here are covered with dust, a sandy dirt. Their heads, their feet, their clothes. There are small crowds of children alone, always alone, carrying one another on their backs. I passed a little girl, sitting alone outside a house playing with a piece of metal, with no one around. No one cares where they go, what they do, all day long. Most don’t know how old they are, with no formal record of their existence. So, I see Becca everywhere, keep thinking ‘We would never let Becca go barefoot in that garbage. We would never let Becca wear that- its not even an outfit, just a torn piece of cloth. We would never leave her alone.’ I think of Becca how she is constantly full of pure joy and smiles, taking in the world in awe. How Mim and Vince treasure every single new little thing she learns or discovers.

*After writing this blog, I found out that Becca was sick this week, really dehydrated with a fever and had to go to the hospital for an IV. It really made me miss her and feel like she’s so far away. I went back and re-read this blog, realizing that kids around here die from that kind of stuff all the time. I wish I could give her wild and crazy kisses that make her laugh. Thank you God for her family and for her health. I love you Uz-Becca-Stan.

Adaptability

2008-07-24T10:43:00.000-07:00

It has become absolutely unbelievable to me in the last few days the adaptability of human beings. How within a few days, your ‘norm’ can be completely re-written. The first day I used the latrine behind the kitchen at the boys home, I looked over and saw the head of a rat that had been chewed off and was swarmed with flies, sitting on the ground next to where I was. There are chickens that have built nests in the piles of garbage that they also eat, and have their broods of chicks following them around. After lunch today, I came out to see the cook using the cutting knife to clean something off of her toenail. Tomorrow, I will eat lunch there again. This is how human beings live like this. Necessity, of course, and our incredible adaptability, where we know nothing else, so that what we know is the norm. Although this adaptability is one of our greatest survival skills, it also makes me sad to see how this quality can cause us to so easily adjust to living in horrible conditions (and see others living in it) with little or no thought.

Policia

2008-07-23T10:42:00.000-07:00

Today was our first encounter with the Mozambique police. We had been told by various people to always carry our passports, as the police frequently stop foreigners, wanting to check their documents. We had just left the hotel and turned out onto the street accompanied by Raymond, Julie’s local contact. As we passed the two officers, they asked to see our passports. Kylee had not brought hers and immediately turned around to retrieve it.

Although they merely checked ours, while we waited for Kylee, two other guys passed by and did not have their papers with them. The officer would not let them go, instead repeating over and over the importance of carrying their documents. Finally he told them to go back to where they were staying, another local ministry, and return with them. Immediately after they left, the officers demeanor completely changed. He turned to Todd, calling him ‘good friend’ and asking where he was from. Just as I began to wonder what had suddenly created this change, the officer mentioned that he was ‘thirsty’ and needed money for something to drink. After we payed him 50 meticais (about $2), we continued on our way. Later we saw the two guys that had been stopped. They had been told by their ministry not to return with their passports, and instead travel on the beach, where the police were not allowed. Most of the locals we have talked to say that bribery is a fairly standard part of business transactions. This seems not only frustrating but immoral and definitely prompted many conversations between the Kylee, Todd and myself about how not to become bitter towards the culture because of it. Last night though, Julie told us that 50 meticais is one day’s wage here. So, there is an atmosphere here where people make $60 US a month, if they are lucky enough to find work at all. $60! A fraction of what I make in ONE DAY. There are many structural evils here that breed things like bribes, theft and violence. Knowing the more personal moment to moment absolute struggle of the people here has helped turn any potential bitterness we could have had to understanding and just feeling compassion for the population here.

Todd

2008-07-21T10:46:00.000-07:00

Today was Todd’s Birthday. First thing in the morning, I gave him a card addressed to ‘Old Man Watson’ and sang Happy Birthday. We took a walk along the beach before breakfast, and since it was our first full day in Mozambique, we spent the day in the sand and sun, resting and reading before meeting Kylee again for dinner. Later that night, we split a small chocolate bar to celebrate. The three of us talked about past birthdays at home and what we had done and the great dinner we would be having if we were home now. An email from Mom reminded us again of what a luxury it is to celebrate the day you were born and to have others celebrate it too.
This month has definitely brought us many blessings together. It was sometimes an adjustment to be together every day, in the same ministry, and living with so many people. Living Grace was such a natural fit for Todd, while it took me a bit longer. When I first met him, I recognized that he had a gift for talking to people, to seeing them right where they are. This was such a strength working with the men at LG. Right away, he was in there, leading the singing and even dancing on the table one day. I saw God use him in amazing ways though, in some very serious situations too, where he was able to really help people and also took care of the safety of the place when John was sick. One of the most powerful things I witnessed in the entire month was how he helped to completely change one man, who had previously been a gang leader. To watch this everyday was awesome, to see how Todd was being used while also seeing my own growth. Living Grace was a great place to do ministry together, but also to have the freedom to seek what each of us wanted to do. Other than that, we have been trying to get out once a week alone for a bit of a date. We still start each day by reading God Calling (me) and 1 COR.:13 (him) together. He tells me to go take time alone and relax, makes tea, and one night, spent an hour de-bugging my room. I could have done it myself, but really appreciate the little things done as a gesture for me. Being together so much has made us very conscious of exercising extra patience and care with each other. We want our relationship to be part of our ministry too, to reflect God’s amazing love. We have been trying to take extra care of each other and support each other everyday.

Dream Project

2008-07-17T10:49:00.000-07:00

Julie’s ministry is to create small homes for children that model family for them. Mozambique had a civil war that ended in 1994 in which many people died and many children were recruited (abducted) into the army. This, together with the AIDS epidemic here, have left families severely fragmented. Julie’s vision, instead of a large orphanage, was to create families for the children where beyond just getting their physical needs met, they could also go to school, be discipled, and be shown attention, affection and love by adults. Julie has trained three Mozambican staff over the past few years to run the home in her absence. Maria is a beautiful woman who cooks for the kids and takes care of their school uniforms. Maria’s granddaughter is also cared for at the house. Raymond and Domingos are in their twenties and often teach the kids English, do devotionals with them, and take care of their day to day needs. There are 12 boys, aged about 10-17, and a few other boys who are older brothers, that come about two days a week.
Julie is flying standby and hasn’t been able to get a flight yet, so we are waiting for her to arrive. We have met Kylee here, a friend of Julie’s sister who is only here for a week. So today, after a breakfast of mango, banana and cereal, the three of us set out for our walk to the boys home. This takes about an hour, and is a beautiful walk along a sandy road right along the Indian Ocean. By sun-up it is already in the 70s or 80s, but there is always a cool breeze off of the water. We have been having lunch at the home, a heaping plate of rice and beans eaten with our hands. After this today, we went along with Raymond and Domingo, the Mozambican staff, to the market, to help with the shopping and to see how it is done. We bought potatoes and beans, and a few small green bananas as a treat for the boys. Dinner is usually rice and a bit of either egg or meat, usually goat. Right now the boys are on a three week holiday from school, so we’ve been teaching a bit of English, learning a bit of Portuguese, and hanging out, getting to know them a little, and getting used to the culture and our surroundings.

Travel Week: July 12-21

2008-07-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

Making our way up the southern coast of Africa, we left Cape Town Saturday, July 12 and travelled for a week up through Swaziland, until our arrival in Mozambique. We travelled by the Baz Bus, a mostly backpacker bus in which you can hop on and off as many times as you wish in seven days. This was such a fantastic way to travel. Days where we had a long duration on the bus (up to 15 hours), we slept, read, and typed up blogs to post later on. We also watched one or two movies as well as the gorgeous coast of mountains, farm lands, orange groves and ocean. Most days we could find accommodations for $10-15 a person, and eat for about $10 a day each. We usually bought bread and jam and fruit and ate that a lot! Thanks Mom for the almond butter- we ate through the jar!
Some Highlights: The first Sunday in a tiny beach town called Knysna, we were at an Anglican church and happened to meet the Consul General of Canada. He and his wife are stationed in Cape Town and were just visiting Knysna for the weekend. He gave me his card in case of emergencies and his wife filled my hands with Canadian flag pins and told me she thought her role was to pass out ‘Canadian propaganda’ in Africa. The SA naval fleet was also attending this church that day!
By far the best food was also the cheapest. Durban, a city along the SA coast, is known to have the largest population of East Indians of anywhere in the world, outside of India. As a result, they also have some of the best Indian food, especially curries. On a recommendation, we went to a vegetarian restaurant that served ‘bunny’. Curried bunny is either a 1/4, 1/2 or full loaf of bread, hollowed out and filled with your choice of curry. The extra bread is served on the side for dipping. It was so good, definitely some of the best food yet. The greatest thing is that a 1/4 bunny only costs about a dollar. Definitely the best highlight of the week was meeting so many amazing people from around the world. We spent hours on the bus and at backpackers hearing so many stories about where people were from and where they had been. We met lots of people, only to meet them again a few days down the road at a different location. We travelled with a few of them. A few Canadians we met were from the East Coast and one was from Winnipeg. It was such an incredible time of relaxing, taking in the country, and processing what life has already brought. Thanks God!

My Place At Grace

2008-07-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

I definitely comfortable and at peace here. I think about it more though, who I am, with so many situations where you have to decide who you are and what you want to do. Working at Living Grace was like that too. Todd was quite the star there. He really was at home very quickly, taking an active leadership role and discipling the men, and really making a huge impact. So, that’s not normally me, so I found my own niche. I found over the weeks we were there that I was the one that made sure things were running smoothly in the day to day operation side of the place. It was comfortable and peaceful there and I really enjoyed it and was good at it. One day I cooked for 80 people! Through that too, God brought me different people- people I wouldn’t have been able to talk to if my personality had been different. I did also challenge myself in areas that I wouldn’t normally do, such as giving devotions. I wasn’t too keen about being asked to do it, and felt it was an experience I could to without. In the end, I did it three times, and I actually really looked forward to doing it. Here are a few lines I wrote after a few of these experiences......

Week of June 30-July 4
This week was by far the best yet. John and Joan, the couple who runs Living Grace, were off this week, so Todd and I were left in charge. First thing Monday morning, one of the women, Selena, came in early. Selena is a woman that helps out regularly at LG, washing dishes and cleaning in exchange for a food packet at the end of the day. She is a lovely woman that has developed a trusting relationship with John and Joan. Selena came in drunk at 8:30am, with a black eye. She was with her partner, who she lives with on the street, and she was crying. Joan asked me to come with her as she talked to her in the office alone. Although Selena is able to function fairly well during the week when she is working, she faces a long weekend on Friday, when she will be on the streets until Sunday when LG serves lunch again. To cope, she usually gets drunk on the weekend, which seems to result in her partner abusing her. Selena also shared that she lost her 3 month old baby four years ago to an illness. She has never received any counselling for this. While Joan got Selena coffee and a roll, I talked and prayed with her. In the end, Selena had to leave the centre and come back when she was sober. Unfortunately, that was the last day this week that I have seen her.

Today was my day to cook! It was my first time flying solo in the kitchen. I had to make three huge pots of soup. The difficulty is that you have to work with the ingredients that have been donated, which makes following any recipe difficult. There is also a very limited selection of spices- just salt and some herbs, when they come in from the stores. Today I made a tomato based soup with ground beef, vegetables, and tortellini. I also made a type of chowder with corn and potatoes. Unfortunately, there was no milk to make it creamy. It was a lot of fun to do this today, and made the morning fly by. It was a busy day as a local newspaper was visiting today, which will hopefully be good publicity and maybe bring in more support. We also had a tour from a new church group that just arrived. Abigail, Amelia’s 7 year old daughter, came in with her, so we danced together during the lunchtime singing, me in an opera voice to make her laugh. I was teasing her about loving the cockroaches at LG and starting her own farm.

100's and 100's: Part 1 & 2

2008-07-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

The first morning here, we had a meeting with Mandy, in which she told us some of the basics of Living Hope as well as what we could expect over the duration of our stay. She started to share that in her role of taking care of our basic needs, one of the things she likes best about her job was seeing each person’s spiritual growth and how God moved in specific ways in each person. She said that people usually attribute it to being in Africa, but really, it is that people finally give God time and space. As she explained it, “When you are here, there are hundreds and hundreds of luxuries that are stripped from you. Not just your physical comforts, but your friends, your family, your support group. And in that space, God can finally find the time and space in which to speak to you. And when you give Him that, whether in Africa or somewhere else, He can use it to communicate with you.” I have had only some luxuries stripped away. I still have hot, clean water, which I am so conscious of actually being a luxury. Now living again with so many people, it is such a luxury to have my own little space, to light a candle in the morning, make coffee in a french press, and have an hour alone with the Lord. Although I feel so aware of these luxuries, I know that hundreds more will be soon stripped away again when I arrive in Mozambique, where there will only be bottled water for drinking, where illness will be more of a reality, and where more of my freedoms may be inhibited. Already, my consciousness of simple luxuries has been heightened, as well as my gratitude for them. I hope these luxuries will be replaced with an increasing consciousness of the need of others as well as for daily gratitude for all of the luxuries I enjoy without having done anything to have earned them.

PART 2:
Yesterday, I had a cockroach on my pants at Living Grace. I will admit that the difference in hygiene here and the fear of disease (Joan whispering to me to ‘Put some bleach in the dish water-it kills the TB’) is often difficult to face. The first week here, I didn’t eat or drink anything while working; I couldn’t stomach it. Then tonight, I came into my room to see literally hundreds of ants covering the crevasses of my walls, trying to escape the last few days of cold. These are annoying, and mildly disgusting, but rather minor. But the last few nights, I have been waking up in the middle of the night. The first night it happened, I woke to a loud rushing noise. I couldn’t figure out what it was. After a few seconds, I realized that it was the wind and rain. In Cape Town, the wind is really fierce, coming off of both oceans and because it is rainy season, we get sideways rain, very nasty stuff. I couldn’t believe that it was the weather that was making such a wild noise. Through the last few days of extreme weather when I have been waking, immediately the people of Living Grace have come into my mind. As I lie there listening, I can’t believe that people are actually out there on the street. I wonder where they can possibly stay to avoid getting soaked, it is so terrible out. I know I could not cope. I have prayed for them, and their communities, for a few short minutes before returning to sleep. It has reminded me of again of the concept of luxuries, what each individual considers a luxury, and how that changes and evolves with circumstances. I now eat the soup that is served each day at LG, although I still bring my own spoon and bowl. When cockroaches appear, I have developed a little song and dance that I do on them to kill them, which makes the staff laugh. Although I have adjusted somewhat to different standards of living, I still feel these are minor, and don’t really involve too much sacrifice of personal comfort. The biggest change is just in my awareness of the contrast between my own level of living and comfort and the level of those that that I spend every day with.

Townships

2008-07-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

The morning we arrived, as we drove from the airport, we passed our first slum. I remember thinking ‘we can’t actually be going in there.’ Of course, we were going to go in there, as that is where most of Living Hope’s work is done. So, in terms of geography, there is the main city of Cape Town, surrounded by a variety of nicer suburbs, one of which is Noordhoek, where we stayed. The suburbs are nicer homes, all surrounded by fence (some electric) and all guarded by a minimum of 2-3 large dogs. These neighbourhoods are safer, but it is still unadvisable for anyone to walk after dark (right now about 6pm). The people that live in these suburbs are mostly white Afrikaaners, descendants of the Dutch that colonized SA. The Afrikaans language is therefore very similar to Dutch. Our particular area had many families that owned horses, many of which employ black or coloureds as maids, gardeners and cooks. The terms ‘black’ and ‘coloured’ are not considered derogatory here, but used by the people to describe themselves.

In amongst these suburbs are townships. Some of these are black townships, people that I guess would be considered the original African population. Here the people mostly speak Xhosa, one of the African languages that use a variety of clicking sounds. Other townships have strictly coloured populations. The coloured people in SA have a history in which white men, often Dutch, that were sailing around the Cape Peninsula ended up sleeping with local black women. This created a culture in which many coloured familes seem plagued with infidelity and fatherlessness. Coloureds speak English and Afrikaans, and we’ve been told that coloured Afrikaans is a little different, sort of like a slang Afrikaans, or a little less proper. In most of these areas, coloureds, blacks and whites don’t mix, not even 14 years after the end of apartheid. One exception to this is the township of Red Hill. This is a rural area in the mountain that was once privately owned. Twenty-five years ago, people began moving from different parts of SA to look for work. The owner of this land let these people ‘temporarily’ settle there. Now this area has three separate camps, of which only received electricity and water a year ago. Apparently the government is trying to improve the situation there, but if and when that happens is sketchy at best.

The government has had its hand in most of these townships. Many were actually created by the government during apartheid years, where coloured or blacks were resettled. Then the numbers living in the townships just exploded after that. Although apartheid has ended, the townships have not really changed. Last weekend, a bunch of us were driving out to Stellenbosch, to visit the local wine farms. It was beautiful country, with lots of sand dunes along the ocean. We came over a hill and all went silent. Ahead of us was Khayelitsha, the second largest slum in SA. We couldn’t see the end of it. The tin shacks were so tightly packed, we couldn’t see the dirt road in between them. We drove in, just for a few minutes. There were fires burning, portable bathrooms outside, and garbage everywhere. All of the roofs had things like concrete or shoes on top to make sure they didn’t blow off in the wind. Later we found out that Khayelitsha is 17 square kilometers and has roughly 1.2 million people living there. One of the most sad and astonishing things is that has virtually just popped up in the last 3 years, which gave us an idea of the desperate nature of the situation and also the horrible conditions people must live in there. In Canada, it takes at least 6 months to build one home. How do over one million people take over an area in such a short time?

From what we know and have seen, conditions in the townships are severe. Some estimates are that 90% of some townships are HIV positive. Obviously, with people living in such close quarters other diseases are also rampant. Many areas are controlled by gangs and are filled with drugs. Meth use, called Tick here, is especially a problem, as it can be made with common substances, but is very dangerous. It seems from talking to local women that rape is a prevalent problem, although numbers are unreliable. I would suspect that part of the problem is that the homes barely have doors, so there is no security for these people. Anyone could enter your home, with minimal trouble. Violence is common. It is completely unsafe there at night, and some people will not go in during the day hours either. Police will go in there if they are called.

There are a few other things that we have learned about the townships, but that I won’t write about here. I will email a few pictures, but to be honest, I haven’t taken many there. One reason for this is that no picture that I’ve taken really captures the conditions of these areas. Primarily though, it always feels a bit like a zoo when driving through there and people are pulling out their cameras. So, that explains why there seems to only be pictures up of what we are doing on the weekends. Sight seeing pictures don’t really communicate the experience here, but there seem to be the easiest to take and explain.

Ahhh...

2008-07-01T10:31:00.000-07:00

We woke yesterday morning to an amazingly warm and sunny day, with the songs of Muizenberg in our hearts. I find that they are constantly in my head, the songs we sing there everyday, and I think this must be one of the best ministries they provide to the men, worship songs to take with them. I am so full of gratitude to God for all He has done in the last month. We boarded the Baz Bus, a backpackers bus that will take us along the southern coast of SA through Swaziland up to Mozambique. This will be an amazing week in itself, as we will travel for the next 9 days, meeting new people and seeing a landscape of beaches, vineyards and mountains, as well as stopping in such places as Zulu Land. I am also looking forward to this being a week of processing so much that has already happened in Cape Town as well as a week for transition in looking forward to Mozambique. I will likely be posting quite a bit this week, so keep an eye on the blog site!

Vampires

2008-06-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

There are so many kinds of people here. Really fascinating people, with rich, unexpected backgrounds. There is also a wide variety in the beliefs that people here hold. Today, Todd was telling me about what he had learned about one of the men Glenn, from Grace. Glenn had told him that he used to be in the navy, until he left to begin his own business. When the business went under, his wife at the time left him, taking everything, which is why he is on the street. It is difficult to tell if these stories are true or, in the very least, even partially true. Later this morning, Glenn was helping us to cut bars of soap in half. The ladies were putting out garlic buns, that were really strong smelling. We started talking about the old myth of garlic warding off vampires. Glenn began saying that although he doesn’t like to often talk about it, that he has seen some vampires down at a section along the waterfront. He went on to explain that vampires are real people that have a deficiency of plasma in their blood, and that this very real medical problem has led to people attacking others. To be honest, he spoke with such a calm tone and confidence that he could be very convincing. Being here and talking to people is opening my eyes to the reality that a lot of these men live in, whether real or self-created.

Rugby

2008-06-24T10:25:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, 20 of us loaded into the vans and went to view a Rubgy game. Rugby is HUGE in SA, and Mandy, the girl that takes care of all of our house needs (groceries, transportation, etc.) is friends with one of the best players in the world. Pre-game, we all made rain jackets from green garbage bags and some people bought shirts. The stadium is in downtown CT, where we could get orange fanta, hot dogs and chip rolls, which is a hotdog bun filled with french fries. The game was great, very fun to watch, even knowing almost nothing about the game itself. The only down part was that it rained almost the entire time, so we were completely soaked. Thankfully, it wasn’t too cold or windy. Afterwards, we drove down to Victoria Waterfront to have hot drinks at a coffee shop that has blankets on the back of the seats. Oh, and the SA Springboks beat Italy 26-0!

Day to Day Ministry: SA

2008-06-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

Day to Day Life:

7:00-7:30 Breakfast/pack lunch

7:30-7:45 Devotions (we rotate doing this!)

7:45-8:00 Leave for daily projects

8:30-3:00 Living Grace Homeless Project

3:00-4:30 Kids Outreach Program in surrounding township.

5:00-6:30 Hopefully walk (it gets dark by 6:00 and is unsafe to walk after that)/shower.

6:30 Dinner (made by the ladies hired at the house)

At night, we seem to have a rotating list of things to do, but usually includes a game, TV, email, SKYPE etc.

Right now there are 13 of us, so life is community based. One common dining/living room where we all eat, email etc.

MINISTRY- Living Hope

Tuesday morning we took a tour of the various sites. Living Hope itself is a health care center for people with AIDS. They are given the Anti-retro-viral drugs and counselling (stigma surrounding AIDS is extremely high) and after a stay, will be discharged.

Living Way is a sewing program for that teaches women skills for both at home and for work. When the women graduate the class, they each receive their own sewing machine.

Then we toured the various kids programs. The city of Cape Town is surrounded by various townships, or settlements. Most of the homes are like shanty towns, with tin sides and roofs, with bricks on the top of then so the wind does not dismantle the home. Kids programs present activities based on biblical principals. Most of these take place in shipping containers (train containers) and have no resources. After songs, games and some teaching, the kids are given a sandwich (sardine on white bread) and half a glass of juice. This is usually the only meal they eat that day, and kids programs are only 1-4 days depending on the site.

The last place we went to was a town called Muizenburg, an area with a high number of homeless. There, across the beach shore, housed in a beautiful old white bank building, is Living Grace. Living Grace serves mostly men, many with the same problems of our homeless-alcoholism, drug addiction, and mental illness, but it is also likely that 40% of them are suffering from HIV.

First thing in the morning, a devotion/singing time is held, followed by serving coffee and a roll/biscuit. Some of the people stay after that, and help out, or just stay warm, so there are some opportunities to get to know them. We also chop vegetables and get lunch ready. Lunch is always bread and ‘stoup’, a cross between soup and stew, and made from whatever donated frozen food is available. Then, at 12:00, there is another time of singing/devotion before lunch is served. After that, we clean up, organized food for the next day etc. The man who just started running it worked for 18 years with the Salvation Army and his wife is a nurse at the health center.

At 3:00, we leave with a team to go to a nearby township, Capricorn. The team that leads kids club is an amazing group of local 20-somethings who work tirelessly for the kids. Many have moved to the site of the kids clubs in order to be more effective. The

community of Capricorn has a heavy presence of drugs and is largely controlled by gangs. About 100 kids come out, ages 3 and up.

Living Grace-two stories

2008-06-19T10:17:00.000-07:00

For morning devotions, Joan talked about the parable of the lost coin. To demonstrate, she had 9 coins which she dropped on the floor, one under the row of men sitting on along the wall. Jokingly, the men all jumped towards the money, pretending to grab for it. Then, with a broom, she acted out the woman looking desperately for the coin. With a sweep of her arms, she ushered to the men to ‘get up and help her look.’ About six men all jumped up and started to pretend to look under their seats for the coin, which of course was right there. After a minute, Joan asked ‘did you find it?’. The men all laughed and shook their heads saying ‘Oh no, no!’ and laughing. They all had a great sense of humour. It was a very funny and real moment.

Later that day, right after lunch, a donation of food came in. Out of the fruits and vegetables, likely about 85% of it was rotted. The workers worked really quickly, tearing open bags, trying to find one or two good tomatoes out of a bag of molded ones. A big bag of mixed produce got thrown on one of the tables. The people could look through and take something if they wanted too. The bottom of the bag had about an inch of moldy water in it. I had a flashback of us a few weeks ago in a Tim Hortons in Brockville. We had started talking to the girl serving us. She told us that because of food regulations and possible lawsuits, they had to throw out all of the food every night, rather than donate it. I thought about all of the food regulations we have in our schools, and restaurants. Like so many things, these seem a double edged sword. Although a necessity, these regulations often border on extremes, We throw out bread if it isn’t as soft as we would like it. Our homeless friends today were fighting over rotted food.

Kindred Spirits

2008-06-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

South Africans are incredibly friendly people. One of the couples we met, Amelia and Anton, volunteer at Living Grace to do fundraising and such. The second week we were there, they offered to pick us and Amanda up from LG early and take us around for the day. Their two daughters, Dani and Abi, were off school for two weeks on holiday, so we all went down to the Waterfront for the day. We had lunch and then we took the girls to the Aquarium for a few hours. Afterwards, we got ice cream and went on a beautiful scenic drive along the coast. The next week, we went to Amelia and Anton’s house with Peter, the director of LG, along with his wife Sandy and daughter Amy. Anton and Amelia have an open room which has a braai, where Anton cooked snook (local fish), chicken and toasted sandwiches. It was so good! For dessert, we had a malva cake, a type of warm cake soaked in something like maple syrup with custard and fruit. People are so generous here, we were truly blessed to have them welcome us into their family so warmly. Abigail and I had a special relationship; We hunted cockroaches on the days she came to LG, we danced during devotions and she always brought me a chocolate treat! I’m really going to miss them! Two weeks into being in Cape Town, the group that had been there when we arrived all left within a few days of each other. I mentioned in a previous blog that this group was great, but somewhat difficult to connect with. Among the new group of people that arrived, came two girls, Amanda and Becky that had actually just come from two weeks in Mozambique. Soon, they had a new roommate, Kelly, also visiting from the US for a month. These girls are awesome- really funny and easy going. We got along right away. Todd and I definitely wanted to be within a community for a number of reasons, and I realized when they arrived how much I had missed my girlfriends and sisters. One weekend, we all rented a car together and drove to Simon’s Town for breakfast and to see the local penguin colony in the rain. The next day we went to Stellenbosch to the wineries and to look around the shops. Becky and Amanda gave me their left over malarone pills, so I don’t have to take the scary ones my doctor prescribed. When we left, Amanda had a card signed by some of the guys from LG and presented it to us with cheesecake and chocolate cake. I am so grateful for these girls. They really brought me a lot of joy and laughter in Cape Town. I’m really hoping that Todd is brought some good guys in the near future. Amanda would always egg him on to say mildly inappropriate things, which she thought was hilarious and to which I would roll my eyes. They were definitely trouble together. For about a week, Todd was a really good sport, driving around with four girls in the car. The last week when Rob came, he finally had another guy to talk to, outside of at LG. Our last day there at lunch, we presented Amanda and Rob with a ladle and the songbook, and stepped aside as they took over for us.

Ministry

2008-06-19T10:13:00.001-07:00

South Africa

has elements of both the First and Third Worlds. Despite its clean water and relatively good infrastructure, there is much to be done here. Living Hope has a long arm into the communities of Cape Town. They run a HIV/AIDS health care facility that provides drug treatment and counseling to infected individuals of all backgrounds. They have just expanded Living Way, a work program in which local women make and sell handbags to earn a living. They also run children’s programs in many of the townships that play games with the kids, teach biblical concepts and feed them, which is often the only meal some children have. All of these programs, especially the children’s, are vastly understaffed and underfunded. The Life Skills Educators that run the programs are completely overworked, run programs in shipping containers, and have no resources. Living Grace is another branch of Living Hope’s ministry that has just become independent. Although it feels like the people we encounter there are very similar to the homeless in North America, and that the causes of homelessness are similar, the issues here seem to run deeper and more generational. It is likely that at least 40% of the men who come through Living Grace have HIV. I feel very much like I did when I was working at GSC- that you get to know each person individually and it is easy to get comfortable, but that you must still be vigilant. I was reminded of this when one of the guys, while helping to peel potatoes, cut himself and tried to cover it up. I personally was very challenged there, as I will talk about in some later writings, but there were great rewards too. We did devotions twice a day, which always began with some singing followed by a message by someone. One of the most things we did that I really saw the fruit of was during devotions. We did different songs, added some actions to spice it up, and when Rob arrived, he played guitar. Todd especially brought a lot of joy to this time. One amazing opportunity we had together was to mentor a couple, Kevin and Natasha. The way this couple came to us was nothing short of a miracle, with God really moving especially through Todd. I’ve never quite seen anything like it. Kevin and Natasha have a very interesting history, but the point is that at this moment in their lives, they are really truly seeking God. After a few conversations with them, Todd felt led to give them his Bible, right before the weekend. On Monday when they returned, they were already on the fourth book! (I’ve only read that far since January!). We had the privilege of spending time each day with them, answering questions and encouraging them. It was amazing to see them on fire for God and at such a pivotal time in their lives. We really became close to them and miss them a lot. I suppose that if we did nothing else here, made no other difference, perhaps that would be enough. Would just the lives of Kevin and Natasha changing be enough to justify the expense, time and distance of this trip? Is one life enough reason to go across the world? I think one life for each of us, where ever we are, would be enough reason. That is why we are teachers, or parents, or say hi to someone we don’t know. Each of those lives could be our lives, or our children’s lives or our best friend’s. I don’t think God sent me across the globe just to hand out coffee or bread, although that is certainly a part of showing His love. Maybe He just sent me for Natasha.

Random Facts About SA

2008-06-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

Clean Water
6 hour ahead of Amherstburg.
Driving on the left side of the road.
Robots=traffic lights; As in “Go to the first robots and turn right!”
Coffee is usually instant and always offered with either hot or cold milk and sugar
Chip Roll= a bun filled with french fries
Right now, SA is entering their winter, so it is becoming cooler (50-60 degrees F), with lots of rain and wind (therefore, sideways rain).
Kombi= VW van
Rusks- a really popular treat, very similar to biscotti, a hard cookie made for dipping in tea or coffee. They come in all flavours; chocolate, muesli, buttermilk, marmalade. Mmmm!

Money is the SA Rand: $1 US = R8. Some things are cheap, others the same price. For example, both a coffee and a beer are the same price, about R10 or $1.25

Afrikaans:
Hoe gaan dit met jou?
How are you doing?

Communal Living

2008-06-19T10:05:00.000-07:00

Ok, so obviously I’ve learned a lot about the culture and people of SA. This month also presented many different situations in which I had to choose how to respond or act, and this process revealed to me different things about myself. Surprisingly, one of the biggest challenges I faced, and probably the one that I learned most from, was living again in community. The first 2 weeks, there was a group of 18-21 year olds that had all been there together for a month and were quite bonded. To be honest, it felt a lot like I was back in University, with dishes all over and empty boxes of cookies. Their energy, interests and discussions were very different than mine. At first I really struggled with this. We met at 7 am for breakfast and group devotions, then all piled into the Kombi’s to go to our work locations, where we were in ministry all day. At 4:30 or 5:00 it was back in the Kombi again to go home and have dinner as a group. Many nights, we had activities already arranged for us. Other nights were free, but by the time some emailing was done, we were all pretty tired. Being a fairly strong introvert in a very extroverted day, I tried to immediately be very conscientious about my time. This meant that I had to get up at 6am if I wanted an hour to myself, and also that I would have to pass on some nightly activities in order to maintain some time alone and with God. The thing I realized during that time was that it was OK for me not want to stay up until midnight with them or go shark cage diving just because they did. I definitely felt more level because of this and was really comfortable just being who I am. After about two weeks, the original group was almost completely replaced by a new one. Over those weeks though, I really grew to appreciate their uniqueness and dedication. Here was a group of people not yet 20 who were in South Africa volunteering. Their hearts and courage were awesome. Plus, there were times when living with that many people was really fun. The first week we were there, we were all going over to Mike and Pam’s (volunteer coordinators) for dinner. Two people had rented cars; one was an old blue beetle, covered with graffiti, and the other, a rusty old red car dubbed The Red Baron. The front passenger door of the Baron wouldn’t open, so you had to climb in the window or go through the drivers door. Four of us piled in back. Jeff, the driver, had only actually begun learning to drive stick two weeks before, when he first got the car. The whole drive was a scary, somewhat thrilling series of jerks to try and clear intersections before getting hit and also while trying to remember to stay on the left hand side of the road. We thought we had safely arrived at their street, when we rounded the corner and discovered their flat was at the top of a large, steep hill. We all laughed as they watched us from the top and Todd yelled out “If you can’t find ‘em, grind ‘em!” To top it off, we left Mike and Pam’s a few minutes behind the other group. As we came close to the house, our headlights caught the beetle being pushed by the others. It had conked out and had to be towed the next day!

First Sunday

2008-06-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

Our first Sunday here. The team usually goes to King of Kings Church, which is affiliated with Living Hope. King of Kings was running a camp this weekend though so we went to Masiphumelele for church. The church is in the heart of Masiphumelele, which is a very poor township about ten minutes drive from the team house. The service was already in full swing, although we arrived before the 11:00 start time. The first 45 minutes or so was a vibrant worship time. Everyone would stand and sing a song loudly, while the children ran around and some people danced, accompanied by two keyboards. In between songs we sat down and someone prayed or said something to welcome everyone. After worship, we were welcomed as a group and Mike, the coordinator, spoke a few words via a translator and then introduced each of us. Mike then called up two of our group to speak about their own journey with Christ. After that, one pastor spoke about a Faith Giving, followed by the main pastors sermon on who Jesus really was. It was a great message that addressed different religions and how they view Jesus. After 2.5 hours, the service ended. It was a wonderful first experience with an African church and how passionate they are for the Lord, in both their worship, and in their offerings to the church, despite how poor they are.